the key is to not think about anything stressful so i ate and said i needed to not think about anything stressful and then i thought of some examples of stressful things i need to avoid thinking about and it ballooned out of control and i threw up
i'm not sure how to avoid repeating this pattern unless i can create an environment that is distracting enough to keep me from thinking about anything but i don't have the physical or mental energy necessary to do that
Anno
I think I can see where you went wrong.
Anno
I've never vomited due to trauma so I don't know what advice to offer. most of my vomit has been out of my control in that I don't have anything that triggers it, I just vomit and hope I stop vomitting. usually I have other symptoms of sickness as well as vomiting at the same time.
>>504114 The only other time stress has made me vomit is when Teacup died. This is all very new for me.
>>504116 It's easy to say I need to figure it out. Why would I need it in the next few days? There's nothing I can do. Fish won't be home in the next few days. If I go to Nigeria, I can't come back.
I did just get food in me. And then it got out of me. I'm not being stubborn. Why would you even think I'm being stubborn? Am I just stubbornly deciding to throw up so I feel like absolute shit? It's not like I chose this to happen with me.
I thought it was the cap at the first but it does look like a steak too
Kirara π
it doesn't look like a steak either
Kirara π
what the hell is wrong with you people or am i the one that's messed up i haven't retained food since the morning of the 17th so maybe my brain is not good
Anno
>>504169 It didn't realise the drawing was so objective.
yeah because she doesn't trust me not to abuse drugs which are very easily abused and i do not usually abuse stuff like that so those fears are unfounded but i do have ineffective coping styles and i am not sure if i trust myself with these right now even though i would trust myself with them at other times when i'm under normal amounts of stress or even high stress i guess but not this kind of stress i'm rambling again
Kirara π
it occurs to me that it's difficult to hide something from yourself
Anno
Yeah. I was thinking in your position I'd put them just way out of convenient reach. Way up on a shelf or surface. Or out in your car. Though I also know my ability to resist temptation would be hard, knowing they're there. But if I wanted to keep them from myself the only real tool I'd have would make it too inconvenient to go get them, I think.
>>504215 i think my post indicates that i am well aware of that but the difference between this and my eating issue is that i actually have power over this issue
>>504211 i'm going to put it in a box and lock the box and my hands will be too shaky to pick the lock because i can't eat also i'm going to throw the key away or i guess flush it down the toilet it would have helped if i said that with the first sentence
Anno
my left leg somehow fell asleep while i was standing up
Anno
>>504216 The moderate in me thinks maybe throwing it in a bush in your front yard or something. It would be a waste of a lock to chuck the key away with no chance of getting it.
At the least, should you be really flushing solid metal objects like that down toilets?
i don't have a front yard and if i throw it outside in the dark it'll probably go into the pond i don't want a turtle to eat it or anything it's one of those, i can't think of the word, it has an openy and closey things separate from the things it's locking i can just get a replacement
Anno
All right. If that's not a problem then it isn't an issue. Though still, should you be flushing keys down toilets?
Anno
if it's a small key it shouldn't create any issue an easier way would be just breaking the key with pliers or something you could simply snap they key off in the lock
Kirara π
if i break the key in the lock how am i going to pick it later when i'm able to hold things i don't have the strength to break a key anyway
Anno
remove the key tooth with pliers again
Kirara π
i still have to figure out how to keep food down also i broke a coffee maker that i should clean up eventually
Anno
My heart is weird right now, I am lying in bed and the bed feels wavy due to my weird heart beat
Anno
It might be easier once you're back in class and providing therapy. Something to throw your attention at.
>>504245 the easiest place to get ebola is an open wound!
definitely bang
you kids wanna see a picture of my open wound
Anno
No.
definitely bang
oh okay cool i didn't really feel like taking a picture anyways
Kirara π
>>504247 or in a hospital in an incredibly poor african country while you try to survive pneumonia
Kirara π
my head is spinning but i don't know if im tired, stressed, or if it's the no food in like 60 hours
Anno
Likely the three of them all together. Well, you did pass out for eight hours last night, right. Though I guess lack of nutrition might be causing fatigue too.
Kirara π
i wish i could just crush my skull, it feels so good to squeeze my head
Anno
>>504248 yes that sounds like /moe/ material to me
In the English translation of tales of phantasia for gameboy advance tgey mistranslated Ragnarok as kangaroo. For some reason. I find it funny so whenever I see the word Ragnarok I think kangaroo.
Just wanted to let y'all know that Metro Exodus might just be the best FPS game ever fucking created If that's too much there's always Overwatch and League
Imagine somewhere calm. Imagine somewhere safe. Imagine yourself in a frozen forest. You're standing in a clearing. Trees around you so tall, they touch the sky. Pure white snowflakes fall all around. You can feel them melt on your skin. You are not cold. It cannot overcome the warmth of your beating heart. Can you hear it? You only have to listen.
I spoke to this person thinking they were simply ignorant but it turned out that they were actually just the worst kind of person and I want my hour of oh whoops why did that copy this was supposed to be a good post. it's tainted
I couild go through my twitter feed again and we could have a good time. I might have to waltz over to the hospital and get a 'terrible' breakfast real quick though
Humans are wonderful. Their products are what I hate. What have they produced? An environment that will be their downfall. They've produced their own death.
Anno
I don't like all the products of humanity but I do like literature, music and culture/history. I feel like I've had enough of humanity, I could do with // I wouldn't mind a world where I was like the last human alive and could just peruse all the books and stuff freely.
Yeah, It is really selfish. I think sometimes I flip between liking humans and dislike humans quite drastically, I think mostly from my own inability to perform well in social contexts. or just that I don't understand a lot of things that happen, I have an unfair outlook on others I guess.
that problem arises from the social alienation that the environment we've created for ourselves inherently has at all levels, humans are social animals, but our environment discourages community it fucks us up humans are stupid animals that have fooled themselves into thinking they're gods i can't blame them for mucking everything up we were just unlucky enough to be able to do this to ourselves
Anno
From a functional/logical point of view, the internet should provide me with a wealth of interactions and opportunities, there are lots of social media outlets and hundreds and hundreds of sites that exchange ideas and discussions. I find it amazing how I can sit here and find it all grey colored, I bet I haven't even touched the tip of the iceburg in terms of communities out there but I feel fatigued. The things a lot of people want and talk about just don't seem to match up well. I sometimes wonder if I was immature I'd feel happier, that sounds fucking conceited, I wonder how people fill up their twitters with content or make personal websites and produce things and also that those same people who are productive can sometimes commit suicide.
I don't understand some people who are so productive and social engaging can commit suicide either, not like I don't understand that they can feel sad or depressed but just that it feels confusing.
online communities and stuff are at a different level from real ones. my connection with my friends on /moe/ is real even online, but being with them in person feels completely different and it's so good. our social environment is deficient in a lot of ways
i don't think anyone would honestly be surprised if someone like me completed suicide (i'm not planning on it) despite my successfulness and social standing. there's more to it than that stuff. the entire world, everything i do, the environment around me, is honestly so painful
Anno
I think the difference between real and online is stressful. A lot of added stuff comes suddenly in to play. Your age, your physical apperance, gender, abiility to read facial expressions and body language etc. >>504377 Suicide seems like a fact of life, people I've spoken to and interacted with just don't exist anymore is strange to deal with and I am afraid of death myself, I don't think I'd ever commit suicide because of my fear of death and distaste for internal organs.
Anno
This a stupidly unhealthy conversation, I am sorry to bring it up when you aren't in a good place.
>>504379 It's not going to make me hurt myself, if that's what you're worried about.
>>504378 Yeah, there are a lot of differences. It's important to take into account the environments and circumstances humanity evolved in. Our brains are built to handle those, not where we are now. It's not surprising we all feel a sense of dysphoria.
I don't fear death. The first time I wanted to really kill myself, I stopped fearing death, and I've never regained that fear. Fearing death is a good thing.
Anno
>>504380 I can't really think a way to explain it, I think they just remind me of mortality and more than that, I have a sanitized view of my body// human bodies. blood, fat, muscle really disgusts me and that they can have growths and tumors, blood vessels can be lined with fat is really off putting. I have an artificial view of human body I guess and the mismatch although I know about , is fucked up for me. >>504381 I think I fear death to an extreme, I rarely go a day without thinking about avoiding things and worrying if I've got something that will kill me, or if a pain I have is something I'm ignoring but is not good to ignore.
I have chronic nerve pain and the endorphins from getting injured makes me feel alive. For a while, pain was the only thing that made my heart beat quickly. I learned that pain is an important part of getting stronger and that the only way for myself to truly be alive is to engage in natural struggles. I don't necessarily want to die (actively), but I don't fear death. I fear being crippled.
Anno
I bundle too much in when I saw pain. I can agree that pain can feel amazing but there are certain things I dislike like pressures, nuasea, loss of sight, loss of hearing etc pure sharp pains are hard to deal with too but pain like putting my hands on a burning hot thing is painful but it feels nice in a way. I used to shower in a bad way by just turning up the heat to scalding because it felt nice.
When you burn your hand on a pot, or you cut yourself while playing with a knife, or almost get into a head-on collision, it all feels so good.
I wish Hulu would stop showing me ads for the royal wedding.
Anno
I have really bad fear of heights when I stand on something high up and look at the sky. but it gives a incredibly rush and that is almost like being in pain. I get addicted doing it and the anxiety I feel can be pretty bad.
The other day, some colleagues and I were talking, I forget about what, but I said something like it'd be more efficient to wash clothes together in whatever situation we were talking about, and everyone was grossed out, which surprised me.
What's wrong with sharing a washing machine with friends? Is that really so weird? It all gets washed. As long as you you're putting in the soap, why would people find that gross?
Yeah I find it gross but I understand that it is irrational.
FormerRei@mobile
But I also have OCD
Anno
>>504431 That is weird, it is waste to use the washing machine multiple times for small loads. I don't know about other people but with family I don't care.
I wouldn't wash clothes with people I barely know, but if it's like, Fish, or Jan, or moon, or Tilde, or Rook, or someone I'm close to, I wouldn't have any problem with it.
I didn't used to wash clothes with my family because we all just washed our own clothes when we needed to and we were all on different schedules.
Anno
I don't really have a problem with washing my clothes with other people. I only want to get my clothes back in the end and not have them going missing.
ζ
>>504435 i'm fine with it as long as your panties arent in there they might get mixed up with mine and it'd get confusing
I wouldn't trust some crazy youngun to video tape me doing something silly because I know it'd end up on the internet and people would make fun of me. And if I ask and he says no, then he's going to be wary. It's easier to just do it sneaky.
Progressive sure knows how to get new customers. I keep getting adverts for them with young adults sitting around in diapers doing something a toddler does, and then they say "Act your age, dump your parents' insurance company!"
they are stalking your social media heard of the case where an advert company found out about someone being pregnant, before she told her parents? just by looking at ther facebook stuff and so on and then started advertising baby stuff to her
Anyway, there's a trend in social media when it comes to school shooters, where they start posting tons of neo-nazi and racist stuff, and then eventually they shoot up the school. That isn't to say I support the idea. I don't.
>>504505 The difference is that "monitoring someone" isn't the same as just keeping an eye on them now and then That isn't even a real thing that can be done on the level discussed, they're going to need to organize the information, create files on students, with every single thing that ticked a flag categorized and easy to connect to other pieces of information
The idea isn't to have A Guy just look at their profile, it's to have A System store and organize all public data on a human being, explicitly for the purpose of building a legal case to detain them
Anno
Oh, that's true, there's a big difference between the two.
Well, all of that data is already collected by the government. They just want to change the law to make it more accessible. Right now, you need court orders to examine that data.
It wouldn't really be used to prevent crimes, generally. It would rely on people reporting the students to their teachers, so this would create a lot of administrative paperwork and teachers wouldn't always go through the process.
In all likelihood, the data wouldn't be used at all.
In all likelihood, this system would be accessed by other agencies for other cases as well >>504510 Yeah the NSA already does I would assume, but nonetheless this would be an increase in the monitoring And the ease of access within the government
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
>>504510 untill someone sells it to some party or leaks it
>>504512 Well, the federal government actually doesn't have a history of private data being leaked or sold. At least, not without someone giving permission for that data to be shared. And even then, when permission is given, the data is shared by the institution collecting the data (it's collected by a private organization generally) and not the actual government.
it's public interpretation of data more so than the sharing of data which i find inadmissable if data's given to a company and they interpret it to make an investment decision to advertise a certain thing to someone whose data fits their projections, that's one thing that's their investment and they're wagering with it using their interpretations
to give that data to a governing body who is going to make authoritative interpretations from the data and deem someone a threat or judging their intentions from a dataset and then regulating them or arresting them is not the same and is not fundamentally sound
people don't yet seem to intuit that data and information are different things
It is like the school are going to hire experts who can properly understand the data, they are going to interpert different parts of social media accounts and consider them unacceptable.
high school algebra teachers and grammar teachers working together to perform encryption analysis and make judgments that can ruin people's lives yeah woo
Anno
My data, my choice
Anno
Teachers are going to have to learn all the stupid teenager memes. maybe even call students into the headteacher's office to explain some lewd memes
Teachers will just be told by administration that a student needs to go to the office, and then the student will go to the office, and they'll probably just be told they have to go to therapy.
ζ
welcome to restricted channels 2020 in public, only english can be spoken and only the most common 1,000 words may be used no vague statements allowed, no side commentary no nonverbal communication
Anno
Go to therapy after having calling anime girls T H I C C and persisting to do that even though the teachers tell them not to.
Anno
>>504527 newspeak is a really interesting concept, I wonder if it is even possible. people would just make up words by accident to express ideas and some might slur words and end up with new words.
there's no way for them to gauge the ambient noise in social media to even gauge the intention behind what's being said there when we're here on /moe/ and talking about something that's happened and feeling socially threatened by it we'll make shitty comments like "Oh man we're so lucky to have people dying to cancer now so that we know how to treat it in the future" how is that going to be reflected in the data collection?
if it's a company making investment wagers they are comfortable with in order to sell something, that's fine but judging intention from it is so amateur
>>504535 >I wasn't paying attention and ran a red light >oh, you made him a steak
Anno
A well done steak
AdamThePhantump
hello folks. :)
ζ
>>504538 >What did you mean when you said "i gotta remove all the eggs before i kill someone"? >it was a joke >Oh, so killing someone is funny? *jury convenes to determine whether or not it's a joke*
>>504549 meguca is hostile to newbies. kinda sad. and yet you like newbs
ζ
>>504545 that's the nature of linguistic entropy and the reason why authoritative interpretation of private data is fundamentally unsound like i said, totally reasonable to use it to spend money advertising non-invasively to the person legal action is not... there's no word for it besides being fundamentally unsound
I had a teacher who used to just twist everything. Someone was whistling, he blame someone and if they said they didn't he'd say "maybe you did it unconciously" how are you meant to reply to that.
>>504553 this is one of the reasons i dislike a lot of psych assessments it's often up to the psych to make these authoritative interpretations of client responses or statements as if they're privy to even a fraction of the context under which those responses were made
>>504568 I still don't trust the fact my psych hasn't exactly told me which are my synthoms and why am I taking each medicine. when i asked of one he said like "this is an antidepressant". knowing how obsessive i am he should have at least tell me a bit, but he probably thinks i'm gonna judge if i want to take the meds or not if i knew better.
>>504574 most people don't want to know more and don't process a lot of the technical speak, so they probably do what they're used to people wanting ask for more information about its mechanism of action if you want there is no reason for him to deny you that information if you ask for it
Maria
>>504576 Honestly better designed than some new pokemon
AdamThePhantump !8aAr0OlMAo
>>504586 my only issue is the lack of legs. It sucks to not be able to walk.
Anno
>>504578 That's a weird looking Pokiemom. I'm not well versed in the game so I actually wouldn't know.
>>504610 I said on twitter that the only people who would be fooled by a specific photoshop were boomers and people that only glanced at it, and some 70 year old bat got offended and said I was calling boomers idiots and called me "bruh" So Maria made fun of her for calling me bruh.
I was planning on trying to go out to my car today but I didn't. It occurs to me I haven't had any water, though, so I still have like half a liter of water.
I've been avoiding Infernal maps on Grand Conquest because I thought units would be like +10 all over the place but it's been pretty alright. The +4 to all stats spaces also definitely helps
it's already 7:00 ugh i wish i didn't have to have summer classes i wish i had no responsibilities right now i wish i was irresponsible enough to feel like i could shirk my duties because of what's going on i wish fish was home
Isn't that just masturbation? I used to do that when I got intensely bored during my bouts of severe depression. It wasn't very fun and I always felt terrible afterwards.
back in the day i used to stream music to tano's radio for hours and just spout useless trivia about music from 70 years ago oh how the times change that must have been four years ago now
Anno
>>504695 I've gotten used to it with the wireless headphones I own, but it can get confusing at times.
Anno
I read somewhere about a guy who lived with real life audio desync, all the audio would be seconds delayed in his head
Anno
I got served an ad about genius pills, that will make you smarter with no side effects. I wonder if people actually buy them
>>504706 Yeah. Infowars sells incredibly ineffective and sometimes fake supplements. They think the things that actually make supplements good (many of which are based in soy) will turn you into a girly man, so they just don't use that stuff.
These >>504704, Brain Force, are one of Infowars' things.
The only review: >βBrain Force has been an absolute favorite among thousands of listeners, with hundreds of 5-star reviews coming in from certified third party review sites. Now, with Brain Force PLUS, we have gone the extra level. This is what I take before a hard-hitting show. I absolutely love it, and the crew does too. This stuff is over the top powerful!β - Alex Jones
Anno
Alex Jones always make me think he is gonna have a heart attack getting suddeny intensely angry
ζ
>>504707 they're more overpriced than ineffective just take a bunch of supplements that sell for a couple dollars each at the pharmacy and make a blend out of it and price it at 50 dollars a bottle onnit does the same thing
Anno
Hopefully he does one day.
Maria
>>504707 >tfw infowars told me that eating soy would turn me into a qt girl and it didn't
You could /// Wait, Ivanka is his daughter. I think. His wife is Melania, or something.
But yeah, you could argue it's cultural because of his wife's homeland, but it's known that she won't sleep with him and they don't share a room, and stuff. So who knows.
>>504718 I got confused, I thought it was his wife but to be honest I heard about his wife being unpopular more than his daughter. so I assumed it was his wifes name.
ζ
>>504718 do any presidents share a room with their wives the stress must be so intense i can't imagine i'd want to
Anno
I don't know why they would go after his daughter.
>>504721 As far as I know, almost every president has shared a room with their wife. Trump and his wife haven't been sharing a room since long before he was president, though. According to them, at least.
>>504720 Trump supporters dislike Ivanka because she properly converted to Judaism and observes a lot of Jewish holidays with her tiny rat boy husband, Jared Kushner, whose incompetent mistakes has caused Trump a lot of trouble and given investigators ammo for their stuff on Trump. That's the story, at least.
It's hard to believe anything you hear from anyone about any of this because everyone is annoying and stupid and just lies and lies and lies.
LV
Hey, thought I'd come over here and see what y'all were up to. Are any of y'all listening to tano's radio?
I'm in the middle of a synth pop / italo-disco playlist.
What seriously? I've only heard of celery and cream cheese.
LV
>>504728 Your stomach's still fucked up? Jesus dude, I'd say go to the doctor at this point, but if it's psychosomatic... >>504730 I've heard of it. >>504734 >cream cheese blue cheese or gtfo
>>504739 >green curry Not bad, I tend to make a pineapple curry or massaman curry myself when I do thai cooking at home. What all is in it besides the bell peppers and chicken?
Anno
My options are limited since I stick to pre-made curry sauces. I will season it a bit more to my liking with garlic powder, pepper flakes, ginger, and other odds and ends from my spice cabinet. >>504744 Pretty simple. Just those two things and some bok choy. We don't keep a terribly diverse assortment of produce laying around so I can't really experiment with other things. Was thinking of maybe adding an onion but I was short on time.
Anno
I want to eat thai green curry now. That sounds so nice.
Anno
Well I'll happily serve you up some if you come around. It does tend to not last long in my house though, hah hah.
More birth control adverts. I keep getting birth control and vodka adverts. Probably 50% of my adverts are for birth control or vodka today.
Escapism is so difficult. Everything is attacking me.
Anno
The dishes that come out of my dishwasher always have a cloying smell to them. It goes away with a quick rinse under the tap, but I don't always remember to do that. And then I'm drinking something and my nose is stuck right in the glass and it's all rather unpleasant.
Anno
>>504754 I'm /// I wish there was a good adblocker for mobile.
>seven hours ago >ask cohort if anything was due in Health Psych tomorrow because we still don't have a syllabus and there's no course information online >seen: 17 >no replies
Anno
And then of course when you show up tomorrow and there's something that needed doing before the class, somehow it's on you for not having it done. So annoying.
I remember we used to have a trial , I think it was, of Stan and they would just play the same ads over and over. Like there was a health insurance ad that would play nonstop.
Yeah, I'm getting the same birth control and vodka ads over and over. As if Hulu doesn't know I've been lying on my futon for three days, alone. I guess that might explain the vodka.
Anno
I keep getting my hero academia crunchyroll ads now at least it's more relevant than purple mattress andI comedy centralI shows
I wouldn't have any qualms if they got rid of alcohol advertising in same measure as cigarettes. I don't think they would have any problems selling alcohol, just as they do with cigarettes.
My Greek neighbours have been playing some very Mediterranean style music out on their patio tonight.
>>504773 I've been past a bunch of the places a lot of the scenes from that movie were shot. They shot a lot of scenes in Toronto's Danforth neighbourhood, which at the time was a massive Greek culture area.
Anno
My Big Fat Greek Neighbors
Anno
>>504770 I don't understand why it's ok to advertise one vice but not others either tbh
I honestly don't care if they have cigarette or alcohol adverts, honestly. Even if they're not on TV, I'll see them on billboards whenever I'm in the city.
But I should be able to opt out of certain types of adverts on digital subscriptions. Especially considering my Hulu subscription is "limited commercials". I should have some control.
Hulu has a Limited Adverts and a No Adverts plan. I'm on Limited Adverts because I get Hulu and Spotify together for $5 a month as part of the Hulu/Spotify Student Bundle. Limited Adverts is like 4 minutes of adverts in a 20 minute episode of B99.
Anno
>>504776 Alcohol is still more socialable acceptable and widespread, but the effects are less talked about.
You can count the number of times I've gotten off this futon in the past few days on two hands. I don't have the motivation to torrent anything. The only reason I have anything on the TV is because I can tap my tablet four times and it'll show up on the TV.
Anno
>>504776 I guess cigarretes are more "obvious" on how addictive they are. probably because alcohol is so ubiquitous that is rare for someone to actively avoid it?
oh boy, a new birth control advert this one's for kyleena which is a competitor to the other birth control advert i've seen a thousand times thank goodness i really needed to think about my potentially pregnant girlfriend again
i sold a pregnancy test to a teenage girl today she hid out in the bathroom after that and then exited the store looking mad it feels weird to witness the aftermath of an important moment in a stranger's life
this is why you should always carry at least three firearms especially at home
Anno
There are more than 3 firearms in this house. I just lock the door to my prt of the house and then lock to the door to my room and turn the lights out.
there wasn't a lot of information she has a fever of around 104 atm fish's dad flew in some swedish doctor she is unhappy and also pregnant one /// the person that went on the plane with her to nigeria may contact me tomorrow
i hope everything will be okay now u // i have to ruminate on fish and the child which i guess ive been doing all day anyway miscarriage is super common especially when someone is incredibly sick and in an impoverished nation and far from home and taking all kinds of medication i'm going to throw up
im not suited for fatherhood im a fucking loser my head is spinning and my skin is on file fire im probably not even going to get to be a dad i know how this goes this isn't my first rodeo i have to be ready for despair
Just be prepared. It's a diffucult life for a while.
Anno
My friend had a child last year. when I went to texas I looked after the child. He was super cute and I kind of miss looking after the kid now, it was nice. but my friend and his partner aren't great parents.
>>504875 stop before you barf again how are you liking megalo box this season what do you think of the weird mid 2000s aesthetic the screenshots i've seen kinda remind me of texhnolyze weirdly enough you and jan watched that together right? it's one of my favorites
Just wanted to let y'all know if you've seen that shit, it's because the algorythm wanted you to see it basically fucking take a good look at yourself what the fuck, i had a account since 2010 and I don't even see that garbage
>>504894 I know well enough that I can't for this. If I get hopeful, it will hurt even more when something goes wrong. And now I have to worry about something going wrong with my girlfriend and my child. And a lot of things can go wrong. I have to be ready to handle it when it goes badly, like it always does.
Anno
Try to remain calm and not expect things to go wrong. You don't know if they will. but you can't let yourself get ill.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Hope is important though. I would rather live my life eternally hopeful and sometimes disappointed, than always in despair.
>>504902 Well, it's a good thing my current attitude is obviously solely in regards to the present situation and not my outlook on everything! It's just that I've seen the patterns before. The last time something like this happened, everyone died. Except me.
i wish i hadn't scheduled an appointment for tomorrow i don't want to see any clients or go to school i should have just scheduled them for next Friday at their usual time I'm always making bad decisions
>>504968 the happy go lucky 18 year old adhd kid with the perfect life the one whose biggest source of worry is that his parents won't let him go out of state for college
love to sit down with clients with few concerns in their lives while my life falls apart and i go 4 days without retaining food
he's actually a good kid but my psychological state is not very good right now
Anno
If you don't think you can do it, call in sick or explain something to do a senior staff member.
Kiraraπ
i can't, it's against policy i can't afford to cause even a tiny bit of trouble for anyone after last semester when i made that one small mistake and everything exploded because my boss is a cunt
Maria
>it's against policy to not come in when you're unable to even do what they want you to come in for Stupid and cruel policy tbh
Anno
That really sucks, you aren't in a good place and it makes it hard for you and for the kid. >>504988 It can be unavoidable, humans are not machines, they always meet demands.
Kiraraπ
>>504986 it's unprofessional to cancel an appointment with a client
unless the clinic randomly closes like it frequently does because the clinic is incredibly unprofessional
Maria
>>504988 Maybe it's unprofessional and I'm sure you know more about it than me, but it's still dumb
Regardless it is pointless to argue about policy if a cunt is enforcing it. bosses should understand their staff instead of being shits
Kiraraπ
of course it's dumb it's all so stupid i should have just not scheduled the client for tomorrow i should have known i wouldn't be healthy im just fucking up again
Anno
That isn't your fault. There is no way you would have known what information you get and your state of mind.
Kiraraπ
i could have predicted that i would be unable to function fully the only thing i couldn't have predicted is not retaining food for four days
>>505032 ive also spent a week and a half talking about nothing but my depressing problems and ruining countless conversations every day and making it awkward for people to keep posting even though moe should be a place where people can escape
Anno
>>505031 sure there are deliberate shitposts but in terms of serious contribution, I'm terrible. I add literally nothing to moe
Anno
That's fine, /moe/ doesn't really need "something".
>>505034 A week and a half isn't all that bad in the grand scheme of your time spent here. Sometimes depressing problems are just the burning topic. Sometimes it's for a week and a half, sometimes it for nearly 6 years, who knows, y'know?
>>505039 weve totally chased people away for being depressing board-monopolizing assholes like i am though people just don't want me to leave because they're afraid of change i can't leave because everyone can find me too
Maria
>>505034 you're also a highly valued friend to many posters and while I can't speak for everyone I think that the tradeoff of some negative posting if it helps you in some way is absolutely worth it
>>505041 I disagree on priniciple. Nobody was scared of change when I left.
Anno
>>505041 Don't presume to speak for me like that. I don't want you to leave because I like you. I don't care if I'm hypocritical for wanting you around yet chasing other people for having bouts of depression. You're a good friend of mine, so I don't want to give you up. Perhaps there's an argument for that being afraid of change but that's also a huge trivialization of the situation. So don't tell me that's what I'm thinking because it's beyond incorrect.
Ko-Shi
Moe keeps calling my images bad and it makes me disappointed
!/PAN/sgvPw
>>505047 it's because of all your secret nipple posts
>>505045 You'd only been here like a year when you did. People wouldn't have objected to me leaving then, either. >>505044 We all have, collectively. We've chased out plenty of unsuitable posters. >>505046 People aren't always aware of their motivations.
>>505051 Wow, I'd been here for two when I left! Plus you were just as liked back then as you are now.
Anno
>>505051 Oh you mean that. I guess I can be pretty hostile. There are some posters here I didn't like very much but I've learnt to like them They still say stuff that annoys me but I probably say stuff that annoys moes too.
Anno
>>505051 That's not what I'm saying. I don't care if it -might- be one of my motivations, to act like it's the only one is beyond ridiculous. And you'd be wrong to presume it is.
>>505058 You were for sure a staple then. Though that was arguably because /moe/ was split between 'day' and 'night' /moe/ and you were large part of the total of like 5-6 day posters
I'd still miss you either way. I still miss Shawn even though like 80% of our conversations in the past 3 years have been him yelling at his laptop from his bathroom.
>>505067 But everyone knows they can't help, and they don't know what to say to make me feel better, even though they want to, so it's troublesome and awkward and depressing. >>505069 I guess.
>>505070 That's how it is. If something is the kind of issue that can be cleared up with a few posts, it isn't much of a problem in the first place. There's a lot of value of just being there with someone when they're having trouble.
>>505070 I gave up trying to say things to make you feel better years ago, my life hit its peak after I nearly died laughing from making you misspell tentacle.
That's just the nature of online communities, I feel.
>>505072 There's value in not stressing people out, too. But I can't do anything because people will worry whether I'm here or not. My existence is inconvenient and troublesome right now.
Social ties bind deep like that. Remember that time Rika was thinking of leaving /moe/ back in, early 2015, I think? It was the same way. Never mind her status as a mod, it was pretty worrisome that she'd even maybe consider it.
>>505087 I've had times like that before. I can get really bad paranoia, though it hasn't really happened more recently. In the worst of it I'd be laying in bed, stuck in my own thoughts, dead-set in thinking the people I talked with only kept me around to mock me behind my back and all that. Kind of rather stereotypical paranoia, looking back on it. I'd desperately wish they'd just out it already and tell me so I could make a clean cut. But of course, that wasn't ever the case.
>>505108 I might go after Sanaki. Rolling the gacha might feel good.
I know I should sleep. But I don't think I will. I don't know if I can. I know it means I'll be miserable all day tomorrow, but I also feel like it won't even matter if it sucks.
Anno
Sanaki's art is pretty cute. If I was playing the game that would be reason alone to pursue. Though I tend to blow all my gatcha rolls on events whenever they come up. If I save for a future "perfect" event in things like that, I'm just never gonna spend.
You should do your best to sleep. Even laying down for awhile and resting your body is productive.
Time for me to head to bed, bye bye
Anno
I've been sleeping way too much again. I don't even remember being awake to turn off my alarms this morning but they didn't tell me I'd slept through them or anything. It's not even restful sleep, which I feel is in part why I end up getting so much of it. So I just feel stressed already getting out of bed since I've wasted a chunk of the day and know it's only going to make it harder to sleep properly come the next night.
