>>707418 (OP) boop >>707423 Greetings! I'm pretty bored although I do have work I am supposed be doing I'm not really in the mood to do any work! How are you?
>>707422 im super sleepy! but not quite tired yet it's the weekend so i dont want to sleep! i have a lot of work to do tomorrow though like 16 hours but that's for tomorrow
for now, im playin underlords did you watch that stream of it that you said you wanted to watch? i think it's a lot of fun kind of a casual multitasking thing though, not a particularly intensive focus-heavy game
I did! I didn't understand an awful lot, I am figuring it's who survives until the end kind of thing? and maybe you send enemies towards other people? I haven't played it before but it was neato seeing your name in the stream!
It's kind of a weird game! some chinese guys made it and actually based it off of mahjong it's kind of confusing how it's similar to mahjong, but at the core it kind of is you get gold every round, a flat amount, and then you get bonus gold every round based on interest, based on whether you won or lost the round, and then based on whether or not you have a win streak or loss streak going
you use that gold (or save it) to buy units from that little window that pops up it rolls you five units, like a gacha type thing, and each unit has a price on it. you can buy any of the ones you like if you can afford it, or you can spend 2 gold to roll again if you have three of the same unit, it levels up to a two-star unit. if you have three of the two-star units, it becomes a three-star unit. each unit has a class and a race. there are perks for having certain amounts of a given class or race that benefits you and makes you stronger in some way.
every round, you send your units to fight an enemy's troops. it's all automated, but you get to place items on them and determine their positioning on the board before the battle begins. (you get a random opponent so you can't know who you're going to face 100%)
here's the kicker, though, where the real gameplay is those units that you roll for come from a finite pool that is shared among all the players. so there might be 20 Vipers, for instance, in the whole pool since that's a thing, those units are finite resources that you have to fight against other players for and you can keep them from getting the groups of units they want for their class/race perks, or keep them from getting a 3-star unit, or you can read what they're going for and start building your army around what resources are still in the pool. In that way, it's really similar to trying to form hands in mahjong and reading what the other players have or are trying to get, knowing what's safe to go for, et cetera. it's really fun. but there's also economy management
月
in that you have to manage your gold on-hand to gain interest but if you get too greedy with interest and you aren't spending enough on your army to make it stronger, you can start losing rounds. when you lose rounds, you lose health based on the power difference between their army and yours. once you lose 100 health, you're out of the game entirely. there are eight players total, and scoring in the top four (i think) gives you rank points, like in mahjong's scoring system kind of
Kannagi★
I think I'd have to play it to properly understand, it sounds like an interesting adaptation of mahjong. It is a lot more celebral than I though. *thought
it's a pretty tactical and competitive game, yeah. i honestly don't think it's that amazing. i enjoy it, but mahjong itself is a whole lot better all around.
im just messing around with it because it's somewhat idle/multitask type stuff. im kind of idle and just listening to music, and it's something to keep my mind moving. mahjong is a lot more cerebral and more attention-driven. when im playing mahjong, i can't really get up or tab away for more than a couple seconds. you can look up "auto chess" and get a good idea of what this game is. there's tons of explanations and guides for beginners and stuff. auto chess was the name it was given when it was first created as a custom map in dota by those two chinese guys.
Valve has since released it as a standalone product, called Dota Underlords, with integrated matchmaking and a specially designed client for it. You aren't missing anything if you don't play it though. it's funny, because auto chess came out at the same time as Artifact. Valve hyped Artifact up hard, and it was a total flop, and people isntead came to play some shitty custom map that turned out to be a much better game.
it's fun to just jump in and try new builds out, experiment with stuff, see what works. im not playing it very competitively, i just like to satisfy that itch of "i want to try this jank strat out and see how far i get with it" and it's less restrictive than mahjong in that sense. you can mess around with it and not get punished as hard for it
I suppose it can also be kind of thought of as a tower defense battle royale type thing instead of towers it's units, but you're buying and placing/upgrading towers (units) to defend you from opponents and you wanna knock everyone else out and be the last one standing.
But enough about that! What kind of work do you need to be doing? How is your new place? Is it furnished? Did you introduce yourself to the neighbors?
Kannagi★
>>707430 I need to finish packing, I need to finish a last essay and clean up. The new place is big and pretty nice! it comes furnished too, the kitchen is a very small space that can fit at most 2 people in it side by side. I haven't see my neighbours but there are shops either side of me, I'm behind a front street of stores so I don't know if I have actual neighbours
okay, well i'll head over in about 10 or 15 minutes to help you pack up and we can start moving it over. that sounds like z // a cozy little kitchen two people side by side is exactly the right amount of space
you can cook breakfast for me very easily that way or you can cook me for breakfast instead your choice
Kannagi★
I can either cooke your breakfast or cook you as breakfast, I've never thought of it like that. Tiny kitchens efficient cannibalism
>>707464 no it's just 2:40 so i haven't left yet >>707465 should have given him something lame like fire we should have had nezuko get a sword and lightning powers so they could be a brother sister water lightning combo
ToN
>>707466 i havent started i kind of wanted to watch it before work these past couple mornings but theres always barely enough time to try and squeeze it in
Anno
Just watch it while you're playing your dumb mobage.
>>707473 more of them definitely should monhun being hard isn't a problem but if the "medium difficulty" quest monster has so much hp that you spend 15 minutes wailing on its weak points and you run out of time before it dies, that seems like a pretty big oversight
the armor they give you is shit but they're giving you endgame weapons for this too
>>707477 I sometimes think that "just give them more hp" etc is a solution so many game devs take when designing harder bosses or hard modes makes it quite jarring in some games, forexample fps games, where you have enemies shrug off grenades and rocket launcehrs or several headshots
that kinda shit really takes you out of a game completely
Anno
Depends on the game for me. Like if I'm playing Borderlands and I'm hitting the boss mob with constant headshots and I'm getting that pretty "CRITICAL" indicator I'm not concerned because the game's pretty much a Diablo loot grinder in an FPS shell.
>>707481 I don't think most FPS try to be "realistic" but it's a definite trend in a lot of modern FPS games. Which frankly I don't like. Not the attempt at damage realism but "realistic" FPS games in general to me just have all the tedium of lugging around a bunch of heavy equipment and the awful graphical design of a realistic world without any of the ... I dunno I got nothing. I feel like there's no benefit to the pseudo-realistic FPS genre.
Give me an unrealistic FPS game or something with speed and fluidity like Halo any day; and since we're talking about being unrealistic from the beginning it doesn't matter to me if damage realism isn't a thing because the game isn't realistic in the first place!
isn't borderlands a semi rpg? most fps try to be "realistic" in a sense of how many bullets it takes to down someone
!C0.PerkELE
oh right... I deleted my two good weapons that I for #1 used up all my crafting materials to make it and reroll some stats #2 dropped on a rare boss because I misclicked on shit
>>707480 Yeah well, but having a grenade or a missile detonated ON you and then the enemy just gets up and shrugs it off takes me out of any fps game
Anno
Nothing takes me out of a FPS game because I'm not really in an FPS game in the first place.
Kirara 🍄
FPS is generally pretty boring anyway they're all the same game
Anno
If your game's core identity is that it's an FPS, your game is probably pretty boring. FPS can be a great shell for a game that's immersive and presenting an engaging virtual world, but all those aspects are things about your game that's NOT it being an FPS game.
Like, are the Bioshock games FPS games? Literally yes, but there's so much more to them that makes them engaging and fun that's not FPS aspects. Metroid Prime is an FPS series but takes so much from its Metroidvania nature that you don't really feel like you're playing an FPS game.
>>707485 >>707484 the ones that are good are good like fear or doom be it old or new or metro
!C0.PerkELE
... so my upload speed on a burst can reach 500Mb/s, eh interesting to know
Kirara 🍄
>>707486 i thought bioshock 1 was pretty good but that last one from a few years ago, i couldn't stay interested in it at all it felt so lifeless to me
singularity is my favorite fps has a great story and gimmick
Anno
Infinite's definitely the weakest of the three. Bioshock 2 was pretty great to me. I think it took the moral choices component of Bioshock 1 and really took it in an interesting direction. Other than that it wasn't really much more than more Bioshock 1, but that wasn't a bad thing either because Bioshock 1 was a pretty solid formula that just making more was a good choice.
I personally enjoyed the aesthetic and characters of Infinite but in terms of gameplay it really just degraded mostly into a cover-shooter game. And those are usually the weakest form of FPS.
Kirara 🍄
oh, super mario maker 2 is out already
Anno
Yeah, Moon, Jan, and I were talking about it last night. I'm gonna head out and pick it up some time soon.
It's not really my kind of game but people seem to be having fun.
Anno
it is too fucking hot
!C0.PerkELE
>>707489 it only loses to doom 2016 with me but in terms of the "realistic fps" style as in guns an people yeah it is around the best I still rate Fear 1 above it, because that is my all time favourite fps game
>Sega announces ‘Project Sakura Wars’ for sometime next spring holy shit
Anno
Of that's cool. I don't really know what Sakura Wars is about but it had a GranBlue collab when I was playing and the characters seemed neat so I'm onboard.
Kirara 🍄
TITE KUBO IS DOING CHARA DESIGN FOR IT
Anno
Oh hell yes I'm ready for Sakura /fa/ Wars
ToN
i missed the salura wars collab so i only really know them from project cross zone
Were nice enough to sit and pose for family photo.
>>707506 North American raccoon probably wouldn't make for very good stew. They're trash scavengers after all, and are kind of gangly creatures. I guess if you need food, sure, but really, just go catch a snare of rabbits instead.
Super Mario make her get Also it looks like Luigi's Mansion 3 is also out? It didn't look like it was on the "Coming Soon" shelf at the store.
Kirara 🍄
comes out q4
Anno
I'm only getting audio out of one of these earbuds suddenly. Don't know if it's the earbuds or my phone though. I'd guess the buds, but my phone's occasionally given me grief in the past, so.
wiggle the chords near any hard point be it the divider, the jack or where they plug into the pud earbuds usually break from one of the spots, with the jack being the most common place.
or the much easier way, plug into another device, but those aren't always present
Anno
Yeah, I have plenty of experience with wires breaking. I've already checked all the joints along the faulty path. In out and about at the moment so I've only got my phone but I was planning on doing some tests once I get home.
I don't understand why anyone buys more expensive earbuds than say 10-15€ range the sound quality will never be that much better and say it is "wireless" hah, that will just end up in other complications earbuds for phones are very "consumables" indeed if one lasts for a year, consider yourself lucky if you use them much
>>707517 my current ones were 3,95€ on sale, 9,95 normal and actually have lot better sound quality than many other much expensive buds i have had over the years, the expensive ones being stuff that came along the phone(s) and not only being good audio devices, they have a handsfree on them, that not only works with the answer/close button, but it has pause and double tap to skip to next song
for 3,95
Anno
These earbuds were literally ten dollars I wasn't expecting much. Maybe not this little not much but you get what you pay for.
ToN
my 30 dollar bluetooth earbud set is pretty fantastic
Anno
I don't really want Bluetooth earbuds. The thought of having to keep track of little things like that just sounds like a recipe for disaster for me personally.
>>707524'' all the time, even in situations where it would nto be proper to wear it suddenly you require a bag of some sort to store it instead of just pocketing it
I wouldn't want anything that requires charging as my on the go audiodevice, though since it would just run out of batteries at the worst possible times. Cause that is how those things work that is how anything with a limited charge works
ToN
a nurse gave me cheaper ones for free and i liked them but they had a battery of like two hors so i got similar better ones that i also like and they have enough battery to survive a couple days of use before really needing a charge
But speaking about chords, having chorded headphones as your audiodevice on your desktop just seems like folly to me unless the chord is like a charging chord etc too many headphones have been lost too early for having chords
>>707534 perks of chordless are very numerous and the cons just disappear at your home >limited charge >your charger is always there >you can drop them >on your floor etc biggest perk ofc being, being able to listen to whatever you are listening wherever Heh, I remember my first chordless radio frequency broadcasting things that thing had so strong broadcasting range, i could go buy a burger from a nearby streetvendor and I could still faintly hear my pc audio
not to mention, it had an actual tuner on the headphones, so I could on some range tune into other channels and broadcasts that used similiar range frequency
Anno
An advantage to corded headphones is that they're cheaper than Bluetooth. Especially considering I'd have to buy a Bluetooth receiver for my PC on top of shelling out extra for the Bluetooth headphones.
Plus I'm a slight bit more of an audiophile than the average joe so I like having quality headphones which are pretty expensive before investing in a pair that's Bluetooth compatible.
>>707537 I don't use bluetooth older tech of good old radio frequency instead of the bluetooth ones
cheaper, and can get a lot of interference depending on where you are >>707541 must have been some weird ones
my only problem has been picking up rogue signals etc, but as the tech progresses they get better at honing on to the intended frequency also they do pick up on some electrical intereference much easier than the bluetooth rivals
Anno
I tried those once and I couldn't use them and be connected to the WiFi at the same time.
Anno
Also because they're a niche product you can't really get good headphones with radio frequency that aren't absurdly expensive. And by good I mean, again, the lower end of audiophile territory.
!C0.PerkELE
but is something like 50€ wireless phones instead of 100-150 and audioquality is 100% the same, save for some lost on the less efficient method of broadcsting the signal, but that is so minimal
Anno
Seems like these earbuds are the problem though. Little strange however; sound IS coming out of the faulty earbud. It's just incredibly muted even after removing the bud. >>707545 I mean duh, but whenever that's happened to me in the past the sound cuts out entirely.
!C0.PerkELE
>>707544 broken chord had similiar problem just recently when my last pair broke
Anno
Wonder if they've got a warranty for not being total trash.
>>707544 Just means this one has bit more copper inside it or thicker chords basically is broken, but not completely severed it is rare, but it does happen at times weirdest is when it is gradual, like 2-4% of audio just toning down every few days untill you finally do notice that "waaait, left side is waay quieter than right side"
Anno
Eh but is dealing with warranty support worth ten dollars. It would be easier to just hit up a sales place next time I'm downtown.
!C0.PerkELE
I don't think any warranty except maybe on realyl expensive stuff, covers chord breaking
Anno
I would argue a n internal broken wire with no visible damage could be chalked up to "manufacture defect". >>707551 The warranty is for ninety days; I don't think I've had them even that long.
!C0.PerkELE
depends on how old they are
!C0.PerkELE
Yeah then I think it might be some damage from manufacturing or packaging especially if there isn't any visible damage, cause that usually shows either a squeeze/etc mark or a stretch mark
Anno
I'd have to go hunting for the receipt though. I'm pretty sure I kept it because I keep all my credit receipts for a time being, but I may have A), actually paid for it in cash and therefore possibly did not keep the receipt, or 2), would have to sift through the scattered receipts I've kept since buying them. And this all feels like a pain in the ass when I can just get another pair for cheap.
>>707538 they’re pretty wonderful not being cord bound with your phone is great
ToN
>>707537 my bluetooth usb i bought is trash so i stopped using it
Anno
I mean I guess I do want a Bluetooth receiver because I could then use my Joy-Cons with my PC in a kind of roundabout way. But I could also just get a Switch Pro controller and that doesn't even need finnegaling to work with Steam; you can just plug and play with it.
Gilbert just came to my door holding a pillow to ask me if I had seen a delivery person earlier today. I asked him why he was carrying around a pillow, and he said "it's my pillow, man" and fistbumped me.
That is what you think untill someone does it but dunno if it is as big a threat to you, since you prolly don't live in a pickpocket heavy zone
Samu 🏔 !KW2DbpWwls
can’t get pick pocketed when you wear pants so tight you can’t get your wallet out either can’t get pick pocketed if you wear pocketless leather glams goodthinking.jpg
Anno
Can't get pickpocketed if you don't wear pants
Anno
I haven't turned on my Switch in a while there's like a bazillion games that want updates hah hah
Samu 🏔 !KW2DbpWwls
i’m walkin around like a dog that really has to poop kill me HRRRGH
Anno
Do you also need to relieve yourself?
Samu 🏔 !KW2DbpWwls
MAYBE
Samu 🏔 !KW2DbpWwls
alarm klaxons are blaring mixed signals from the mid ship deck
i had a match like that a couple really in one of them the toadette said “sorry!” and left and then it was fast again but yeah rip i expected this... clearly this game has to be synchronous like smash so that plus 4-player always is bad news
Anno
Remembering to redeem my Piranha Plant code literally the day before it expires hah hah
Anno
Okay now that all that updating is done with time to go meet my Maker
>>707602 like that one track in fate/stay night that's just dripping sounds
Kannagi📱
>>707604 No aircon. Unless I lived in an office. I miss going to work in summer, nice aircons. >>707607 It only gets hot for about two weeks a year, or a little longer Not worth having aircons here. Downside is when its stupidly hot we just have to deal with it
>Run out of lives on a stage >See Luigi offers to do the stage >Think it means you get to play the stage as Luigi >Actually just means Luigi literally does the stage for you Man I am disappointed.
Anno
I'm gonna make myself a steak
月
well i guess tilde is steaks now lucky some people get to have all the fun
Anno
It's pretty tasty. I'm hoping I cooked it long enough but it was sitting in a pretty hot barbeque for a good time.
Fucking thing was like four centimetres thick too. Like just a hunk of beef.
月
mosquitoes INSIDE the house what a terrible fate im being eaten alive when i sleep this bunkass cat has fleas too this is why i told my roommate a cat was a bad idea he's not good at taking care of stuff
月
i can't remember the last time i had just a big steak it's probably been six years sure, salisbury steak maybe, but that's not steak
Anno
It wasn't an irregular thing for my family, especially in the warmer seasons when it's easy to barbeque stuff. But ever since we got a Costco relatively close by my mother has been taking advantage of their fantastic high-quality meat at really good prices. Like that hunk of steak I just had was from a pack of like five or six for maybe ... forty dollars? Thirty-six? It's kind of pricey but meat is easy to just throw in the freezer and defrost in the morning that you want to prepare it for dinner. So a pack like that might last me a month or more dependingo -depending on how often I want to prepare meat.
Anno
Though honestly I probably wouldn't make steak that often if I didn't have access to a barbeque grill. I've tried steak preparation through other ways and it's just never not as satisfying to me. Er never as satisfying to me.
>>707627 even though i love to cook, steaks and grill stuff is kind of a hassle to me im not gonna deal with any solo meats unless there's a pit ready and we're gonna do a bunch but im too poor for a nice home and a pit so i wouldn't be the pitmaster most of the time
i used to really love smoking meats. me and my dad had a meat smoker and a sausage machine we'd get the collagen casings and we'd buy fresh hog from someone who hunts wild hog, like 100 pounds of it, and just grind it up with different seasonings and make batches and batches of sausages, then smoke them in the smoker with different types of wood chips, separate them and label them in big containers
and then i'd start with my pickling, and for any given type we'd have some plain sausage ready to use right away, some sausage pickled in garlic chili, some pickled in like vinegar with mulling spices, and some with other fancy things like sundried tomatoes or habaneros, or some pickled side-by-side with eggs
and we'd take some of the leftover ground meat and make scotch eggs with them for special occassions like holiday meals or just being invited over for meals i suggested we do some scotch eggs with the pickled eggs and they turned out so amazing. my sister had a scottish friend visiting her place on thanksgiving when we brought those over and he literally cried when he had one because he didn't think he'd find something so tasty in america and it reminded him of home
we did a lot of bourbon-soaked pork belly too, so whiskey bacon of all different types cheap whiskeys, bourbons i loved that stuff so much
Anno
I'm actually really fond of barbeque grilling; it's going to be one of the things I miss most about living in a house I think. When I'm home alone a common summertime dinner for me is just some store-bought hamburgers grilled for like ten minutes. Maybe I'll some times fry up some pan potatoes for a side.
I don't really have a lot of experience with smoked meats, and to be honest I'm not really fond of sausages. But I think some home-smoked bacon would be something amazing to be able to enjoy and something I wouldn't mind doing if I could borrow or rent or whatnot a smoker. Not the kind of thing I'd figure is worth buying a smoker for but having access to one would be nice.
i can't imagine renting one being very cost-conscious they're not insanely expensive or anything
but if you had a friend or neighbor who had one, yeah maybe i'd use it a ton if i had one though
with the bacon you have to brine it though we had a brining barrel for that stuff but it's kind of hard to figure out the process it ended up being way, way too salty a lot, which made the bourbon flavoring overpowered it was remedied by washing the meat off after the brining, before the smoking, but ideally that shouldn't have to happen
i would really love the stability to do that kind of stuff again. i haven't had roommates that care about any kind of food prep or home cooking, they just buy fast food all the time regardless so it's never worth the time to do anything nice /moe/ commune when
>>707630 Well if you have the chance to get a smoker I'd be happy to head on over and get me some nice home-smoked bacon. >>>/watch?v=UPccIAVvQA4 Babish did a thing on home-smoked bacon a bit back and it kind of got me thinking. I don't eat too much bacon but maybe I would if I had some stuff made closer to home.
yeah, that looks good. i love doing stuff like that. it's really rewarding and there's a lot of excitement that comes from the prep and anticipation. i feel better as a whole person when im able to do stuff like this; i feel productive and fulfilled id do this stuff regularly with my dad, and me and my ex would plan on certain days to enjoy the fruits of our labors, so it was really fun to look forward to and enjoy
so sick now of it just being "ugggh thats a lot of work im gonna go to mcdonalds" they're just roommates so they can do whatever they want, yeah but the stuff that i care about being dismissed and i dont really get a chance to do it is probably a large part of why ive been so depressed it's hard to be depressed while marinating and cooking meats
>>707636 I'm alright, other than the usual soreness and a bit tired from work. Hungry but also too lazy to get up and make some food. I had to teach yet another new hire today. But she seems much better than the last couple people. I dunno what I'm gonna do. I don't really feel like playing games or anything right now.
im wondering if there's some kind of night job i can get where i just have to be there and tend to people infrequently where i could actually do my transcription work while im on post not only would it help pass the time but i could get an extra 10 bucks an hour on top of whatever im making there
10 bucks assuming i spend at least half my time on post tending to other duties related to that job
Anno
>>707638 ive heard lots of recommendation for night security jobs
as long as your comically fat and willing to fall asleep, leaning back in your chair, with a porn magazine resting on your face, and a heavy enough sleeper to not wake up to the sound of a burgler's footsteps you're a surefire hire
>>707638 I barely get enough time to smoke for two minutes every two or three hours. There's a lot of stuff to do, even if you're not constantly serving people. Some other locations are a lot less busy than my store, though, and you'd definitely have a lot of time to kill after getting things taken care of.
I think if you want a job that lets you relax most of the time you'd be better off looking for night security or toll booth operation. That kind of job can be somewhat risky depending on where you're working, though.
got my desk set up! and my ball chair it's a small portable desk, and it's not much, but it's mine!
the cloth cover on the ball chair is not so smooth and delicate. it's kind of a rough fabric. it's fine for using as a chair, but i wouldn't want to use it as an exercise ball like this. you'd get rugburns
>>707642 maybe, but call centers are weird. i think i'd rather just stay home and get twice the productivity from my transcripts than to do half my work as a call center im bad with telephones and people
Maria
>>707638 Night time call center? At the old old one I worked at they described a night position where you'd take around ten calls and watch movies the rest of the time. Kirara said the nightshifts at his job on the suicide hotline only had a couple of
it was just a passing thought. the citgo acrosst // across the street gets relatively little traffic and the guy in there always has his laptop up or is making phone calls with a bluetooth phone while he's there it's a family-run thing though
i was just thinking i would be able to sit there and do transcripts while idling at the workplace and that would be neat but i don't gain a whole lot as someone already doing transcripts to pick up side work that slows me down if i had that as a job though, adding transcripts would be potentially beneficial
Working at a call center sounds like a cruel form of torture to me. I don't even want to talk on the phone half the time, since it's somehow extremely difficult for me to understand anything anyone says through the phone. Plus you'd have to just sit there and wait for the next person without any clear objective. I'd be so stressed out.
Maria
It's really not that bad Like sure you get people occasionally verbally abusing you but it's better than
>>707646 Most of the time you go straight to the next call Any time inbetween calls is shit posting on your phone time
>>707650 Yeah you aren't expected to do any work between calls In the off season I'd read manga for 20 minutes between calls while others had a ping pong tournament and then my boss would send me home an hour early
If you're outbound it's just one call after another
What you're stating isn't so bad, just reform it as paraphrasing. You should be confirming what the caller is talking about. Just repeat back what you thought they said and let them correct you if you misheard
I've never actually called 911 or 000 how are their operators
im not saying call centers are a bad job, but it's definitely not for me it causes me a lot of distress and the skillset required for it are my absolute worst skills it makes no sense for me to take a job that uses the worst of my skills and causes me undue stress
transcription on the other hand is extremely monotonous and grating work, requires complete isolation, can be incredibly dull, is excruciatingly punctual, and there's no idle time because you're paid by productivity, not by time invested most people find it a very unrewarding and difficult opportunity but i love it
Ahh, flipped posts make me happy for some reason. Every thread should be flip enabled by default. Maybe I can convince Samu it's for the greater good! >>707648 Oh, that's good. At least I wouldn't get too anxious waiting for calls. But I'd still probably hate it and be extremely bad at it. Imagine if you called 911 and stated your emergency and the operator was like "What? Uh, come again? Sorry, I didn't get that, you're getting stabbed now? Where? Ok, can you repeat that?"
Maria
>>707650 Man I'd be the most frustrating 000 caller I don't know our street names "sir where did you say you were stabbed" "uhhhh downtown" "what street" "uhhhh the one in front of the convenience store near the bucket fountain"
月
>>707650 that happens a lot, because emergencies are usually loud i remember one thing on the news where some old lady was getting attacked by pitbulls that got into her house and she was on 911 and the operator was just like "MAAM I CANT HEAR YOU CAN YOU SHUT YOUR DOGS UP SO I CAN HEAR YOU"
>>707648 Well, I can't really speak for everyone, but in my experience they are usually extremely professional and helpful and informative. I've only ever called them to inform the police or summon an ambulance a couple times for people who were in danger, though. I've probably called them around 15 times total. I dunno where they get 911 operators from but they've been incomparable to any other hotline I've called, at least.
My only complaint is how they keep asking for more information while you wait for the authorities or EMS to show up. A few times I ended up telling them the same information about something two or three times total because they're not supposed to stop talking or inquiring for too long.
>>707652 Wow, that's horrible! But I gotta be honest, I laughed a bit. He must have felt really awful after everything was said and done.
>>707651 Oh yeah, I'm horrid with street names too. Even though I've lived here my whole life I still fuck up giving people directions to places in the area half the time. Doesn't help some streets have like three names (Highway 303 has a few) or have names that are like the same shit (North Collins and South Collins are like 5 miles away from each other)
It's easier when people have been around the area before so we can just talk in landmarks. Like yeah, go east next to the GM plant 'til you get to the Salvation Army and turn right following north past the train tracks and after the Cowboys Stadium you'll see Condom Sense on your right. Should be 'round the Payless Shoe Store that got closed.
That's an actual conversation I had with a friend of mine some weeks ago, too.
how do you end up on a road without knowing what that road is? that's bizarre to me personally if im driving i have to know what street im getting on if im walking or biking, sure i dont -have- to know what street im getting on, but im moving a lot slower so i spend an entire minute approaching the street sign
Anno
Once I'm familiar with a place I don't really pay attention to the road name anymore. Like if you ask me I could probably just tell you but I'm not in the moment conscious of the name of the road I'm on.
>>707653 i still think about our little petrol station adventure a lot with a sick matty in the back "okay moon there's a station at the next exit, right to our right" uhhh and you're just looking down at your phone not even checking out the surroundings haha "i don't think so!" "yeah it's there it says so right here" "i really dont think so!" matty's freaking out and having a panic attack and im laughing like a loon
Maria
>>707653 Yeah landmarks are way easier than remembering names
Like street murals and stuff We used to have this tree with a traffic cone on top of a tree that was like a local landmark and some dick head took it down So then another traffic cone got put on top and someone decided to just get rid of the whole tree Like what the fuck was their problem
>>707653 Yeah but keeping you talking lets them know you aren't dead
>>707654 Easily. The roadways here are so spiderwebbed and unnecessarily complicated and almost everyone is going 60 in a 40, 90 in a 70, or 100+ because god dammit I got to get to work. If it wasn't for GPS I would get lost just trying to go to the damn mall.
Yeah, I was like half asleep when I was trying to find us a place, haha... Kind of panicking too, and I can't see well in the dark at all. Should've figured there wasn't anything like that from the lack of light, though. I think I had taken some allergy medicine when we were leaving the Grand Canyon because I was feeling a bit sniffly, and I kind of conked out until I woke up somewhere on that damn highway.
actually, what day was that that we were in nevada? im gonna go look it up in the archive haha matty was posting while we were in the car
i was like the only one who was awake and there was that really sweet korean couple at the gas station who spoke NO english and were stranded, trying to get to las vegas i spent like 40 minutes trying to help them out
>>707660 3-day bender on what? Are you alright after that? >>707659 I think it was the third day? Shit, how long were we in Vegas again? It feels like it wasn't very many days. Maybe time just kind of flew since I was having fun.
I still hate Vegas, though. It's so stressful just being there, even riding in the passenger seat in Vegas traffic makes me feel sick. I feel for the people who have to drive in that hellhole every day to get to work.
I remember those two, they seemed pretty nice, I think you started trying to help them before I went in the store and were still at it when I finished using the restroom and bought a sandwich and energy drink.
oh, our trip was before the archive wipe gosh dang. it's not in there.
>>707661 that was just the strip. the strip is terrible to drive on. it's more meant for walking along. i feel really bad about agreeing to meet up with doc though we were on the strip and having a good time, and we left that to go to some shitty hole in the wall pool house with doc but doc had all his shitty friends there and i felt like we were ignored we should have just stayed on the strip and visited the casinos and walked the strip or gone back to the hotel and played pool at the arcade there
me and matty played the arcade after you left and we had a lot of fun playing some dumbass pinball game about melons and farmgirls and we climbed that rock path outside the hotel for a little bit but my poor bones couldn't last long and we had to go back in and then we didn't really do anything besides talk and i drank infront of matty like a dumbass idk i feel like i was kind of a limiting factor that whole trip. i kept wanting to go back because i couldn't handle the cold weather on my bones
Anno
>>707660 You gonna cool down for a while now then?
>>707662 Nah, the strip is honestly the nicest place to drive through in Vegas. It's slow and predictable, though you're not gonna get where you're going very fast the sights are nice and the traffic isn't anxiety inducing. When me and Matt were going to camp in Utah we got to drive through the rest of Vegas and there's a lot more stressful traffic elsewhere. Especially during the day in whatever timeframe we happened to pass through in. People were running lights left and right and changing two or even more lanes suddenly without signalling and it was just fucking horrifying. The traffic got a lot better the further you got away from the airport and the strip, though, the roads out of the city and the smaller roads through neighborhoods were a lot nicer.
Walking the Strip's definitely more fun than driving through it, though. You can appreciate the sights and engage and see the people and enjoy the atmosphere much more. Plus you can just fucking walk faster than people are driving along it.
I dunno about that. I'd have done it if you'd rather have stayed on the strip, definitely. But I had a great time visiting that dingy pool hall with Doc and his mates, and playing that depressing match between a Texan Drunk and Doped-up Floridan.
Doc's a cool enough guy in my book. I think I got along with him well. We did a pretty sick duet too. But his boyfriend seemed like a bitch ass. Also he's got shit taste in liquor.
Yeah, I drank around Matt a lot of times too. Felt bad but I guess he doesn't mind too much, he said he knows it's hard to deal with a drinking problem. I drank in his rental car right next to him and nobody noticed until I pointed it out, haha. He was really mad!
I told him he could get a free body blow since I realized what a shithead move that was after we got back to the hotel, but he didn't want to. I would've hit me in his position. He's a really good person. Through and through. I'll never understand why he's still my friend but I'm gla
it doesn't bother me at all when people drink around me
it does bother me a little bit to be around drunk people though, like at a party or around a bunch of drunk people online while playing a game or something it's not like i get an urge to drink but it makes me realize how annoying drunk people can be and makes me think about how annoying i probably was all the time when i was drinking how often id come onto /moe/ drunk and try to show my friends how much i appreciated them and cared about them but i was blind to context and tone deaf and being really obnoxious at bad times, stumbling into conversations i didn't belong in and stuff it makes me cringe a lot when i think about it.
i actually have tried to drink quite a few times this year i bought a bottle of wine once and poured a glass of it, had like maybe one small gulp then didn't end up touching it again before i fell asleep then i woke up and poured it out because it was old wine and attracting gnats or i bought a four loko once and the same thing happened, and if you leave one of those open it smells so fucking bad i actually kept it around open because i intended to drink it but i didn't want to at any given instant, i just kept thinking "i want to drink this later" but that later never came so it was around for like two days open and four lokos are so disgusting smelling so i eventually poured it out
there's another four loko in the fridge still (they were 2 for 5 or something so i got two) and it's been there for like four months now
so im not bothered by alcohol being around, and even when i have it and intend to drink it, i never end up actually getting around to drinking it like i keep thinking i want to drink later that night, but not yet because im still enjoying my mood and there's stuff i want to do before i start drinking that's actually what got me to stop drinking originally. i never really planned on or intended to quit, but it's been almost a year now and ive just not actually drank atall
>>707666 It doesn't really bother me to be around people who are drunk, but I'm still drinking, I guess. It doesn't make me feel like I should drink with them if I don't feel like it, though. I can just coast off their high spirits. I've gone to the bar a couple of times just to enjoy the revelry even though I didn't have enough money to order anything but water.
The only thing that really bothers me is when people mention cocaine or when I see it on TV or in movies and such. I guess it's a different level of desire for me or something. It's too easy for me to get it here so I try to avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
I like when drunk people get all lovey-dovey, haha. It's kind of cute, though I guess it's probably embarrassing to most people when they sober up.
When I stopped drinking, I was able to just drink one beer and be alright and leave it at that. But maybe something triggered me, cause some time around February I bought a bottle of tequila and killed it in about 9 hours. Now I'm back to drinking most nights. It hasn't really affected my life, though, and I kept to just malt beverages around 8% to avoid getting really fucked up on liquor all the time, since I know I'll just do that if I have that. Frankly I barely even manage to get drunk on two 25oz cans of 8.4% alcohol, I guess it would be about 8 shots in there. But there's nothing harder I'd be willing to allow myself to drink, other than maybe MD 20/20. That shit is so disgusting, though. I can't stand it.
Four Loko is nasty as hell. I've had it a few times when I thought I could get pretty wasted if I chugged a can of it but it's so hard to drink that much when it tastes so sickly sweet. Much rather chug something like Steel Reserve or some agave Tequila if I'm trying to get messed up fast.
Oh yeah, malt beverages smell horrible after they've been sitting open for a while. A couple weeks ago I had this terrible Ammonia-type stench in my room and couldn't figure out where it
i miss margaritas though. not for the alcohol but just the frozen fruity flavor i should get some margarita mix and just have it dry
i miss the taste of bourbon a lot too. i wish they made bourbon-flavored lollipops or something they might. i should look.
it seems like we're probs not doing anime tonight. i think the plan is to haev // have a full night tomorrow iirc how long are you gonna be up? water you doin for tonight
>>707667 Was coming from, but I finally figured it out. I had left like one ounce of malt liquor in the bottom of a can I threw in my trash and it just sat in the can fermenting or whatever. It literally smelled like Windex when I poured it into the sink, after I got rid of it, the smell disappeared pretty quickly. I guess this stuff doesn't smell that good to begin with, but it's so disgusting if exposed to air for long. >>707668 Margaritas are really good. I'm a pretentious cunt about Tequila though. I'll only drink pure agave stuff. They're probably my second favorite cocktail, behind the glorious Mojito. Other than that I generally prefer to just drink my spirits straight or on the rocks. Whiskey and Bourbon are the best when it comes to that so I'll usually choose them if I can. I always drink Gin & Tonic when I fly, too, but that's some kind of tradition I've created since the first time I traveled anywhere. It's a good drink to pick if I don't want to get drunk quickly, it tastes very good.
I'm gonna be up for like 4 or so hours, I guess. I don't have any plans. I was thinking about playing FFXIV, but I don't really feel like it after all. For now I'm just listening to music. What are you up to?
i have to work a little bit later but other than that ive been waitin for your dunkass to finish up your long post so i can ask if you wanna go play VRchat go install it and let's chill out with some randos on the internet who want to play their guitar over the microphone to strangers or play never have i ever and just have some dumb fun
You know you can just start posting while I'm typing! Jeez! I can't install VRChat, though. I'm posting on my tablet, my little sister's playing on the desktop right now. She's more excited about that XIV expansion than me so I've been letting her have at it. Right now all I got is a tablet and PS4.
>>707672 Haha, that's not exactly realistic. For one, I haven't installed it on my desktop. Then two, she's too enamored with playing that new expansion with her boyfriend to do anything else. Finally, three, she doesn't like mingling with random people and being social, even through the internet! I've shown her the game a couple times, but she seemed to not be very interested in it.
I'd like to be playing XIV with my free company and having fun, honestly, but I'm just so incredibly disappointed with what they did to two of my favorite classes that it's killed my motivation to log in. Particularly Scholar, a healing class, formerly the most complex and intensive healer, perhaps the most difficult class to play in the game, was simplified and gutted of so many abilities and tools it's basically a Fisher Price My First Scholar with Training Wheels now. It's still good, and does almost as much stuff as it could before, but it's lost the extra difficulty in its pet management and damage dealing potential that made it feel rewarding to me.
They didn't mess with my main class much at all, in fact there's really only one new ability in the entire expansion for Black Mage to adjust to using, so I just don't have much drive to fuck with it right now. >>707673 How do you know you're REALLY alive though
>>707668 Oh yeah, also, I make a mean non-alcoholic margarita. It's basically just a fancy limeade with salt and some orange juice, but people like it!
I am at work and bombarded with nonsense So it has kept me from sleeping But the tension in my head reminds me that if I cose my eyes for aa minute, I will be trapped in an escape room in my rem cycle.
>>707679 man wwwwwwwwWHAT happened to Sporky They(she?) were pretty funny and weird >>707680 Oh yeah, it's pretty hard to sleep at work One time I went into work after staying up for 40 hours and I was wide awake while I was there! Then I got home, took my work uniform off, sat down in my bed, then I woke up 12 hours later.
>>707681 sparky was the bad kind of mentally unstable the posts on here were just chuuni nonsense, but they were killing animals and posting pictures of it here and stuff so it was a definite no-no like frogs and things
>>707683 Oh wow, that's messed up! I'd heard something like that before I think but didn't get the exact details. Doesn't really surprise me though, I got a bit of a psychopathic energy from them, for lack of a better word. They were still pretty funny with their posts though. Hope they got some help.
>>707684 it was an awful long time ago what, six years? five? i can remember those threads really vividly though, those posts and samurai's and rika's responses i wonder why it's so crystal clear in my memory i didn't see any of the images though because i had images off by default, the thumbnails where you would have to click on them to see them because it helped the site load faster on mobile and we had like 2000-post threads at that time
Maria
>>707685 Fuck I remember they used to post on /magic/ What a weirdo. I thought it was just some sort of ironic front
月
>>707687 their posts about being crazy were just nonsense really like histrionic playing it up and being really chuuni they definitely had some thought disturbances and were not appropriately adjusted for society they weren't especially malicious either which made me feel kind of bad for them
>>707686 Wait, six years or five? Have I really been here that long?
Oh, yeah. 2013 was 6 years ago. God damn. What have I done with my life. Well, I guess I've probably done more with my life as a result of coming here than I'd have hoped myself back in 2013 or so. Lot of good memories while I was here. Feels like a long time though. >>707687 Yeah, they posted there every now and then but it wasn't really much different from what they'd post on here or on tano. They had their own site with a message board that me and Aska would post on from time to time, long ago, and they'd be a bit more coherent on there, but I couldn't tell you the address anymore without charging my old phone and looking for the texts. I'd really rather not do that for any reason, I might end up sobbing again. >>707688 Guess in another timeline in other conditions, I could have ended up psychotic like that, too. I was pretty bad when I first came here, honestly, I was almost completely nonverbal in real life and such. I've changed a lot, and done a lot since then. Stuff I'd never imagine I'd do back then, haha.
i've known sugoi, samurai, bang, SC for eight years now rika and whoakun for 7.5 years
it's absolutely insane when i consider that i talk to everyone here almost every single day sure a few weeks im gone every once in a while, but for the most part almost every day for eight years
>>707693 That's pretty impressive, haha. I'd never kept a friend for longer than 3 years before I met some of the people I know from here. Even still I have ended up hanging out with and then distancing from people in real life after like a few months of friendship. I guess I just feel like I want to talk to people here more than most. >>707695 Haha, I can't imagine actually managing to help someone, honestly. At least with permanent effects. But I'm really glad to hear it, even if I don't understand what I did. I feel like I've probably taken more from people emotionally than I've provided, especially for you.
I lied about myself to people when I was younger, but I think at some point I realized I'll still be who I am even if people think whatever they want. So it's pointless to deny what identity you see in yourself. People can think what they want, it won't change who you are and what you do. Pretending to be someone else is just too much work, too. Thinking about what you've said to who and how their perspective of your character has been developed, trying to keep your stories straight. I'm somewhat good at it, I guess, I've played opposing personas a few times to get the real stories behind internet bull shit drama, mostly in MMOs, but I've gotten sick of that kind of thing and don't feel like caring for people in a game that much these days.
Shit, what point was I getting at. I forgot. This pork roast is pretty good though. It's smothered in gravy made from cream of mushroom and tomatoes and garlic. Got a little dry in the pressure cooker though. Pork needs slower and lower heat to stay tender.
>>707691 you helped me in a lot of ways too, whether or not you realized it
until i met you, i had issues with just being myself i had to lie about a lot of stuff i was ashamed about, which are things normal people have no reason to be ashamed of
but i thought they were things that were not okay because i was raised in such a god awful way that i had to hide everything all the time and anything that ever brought me joy or happiness would be taken away if it was known about
so i had to pretend all the time, that was my shitty life
月
>>707694 yeah, i don't mean lying about facts so much those are kind of whatever.
i more meant hiding my feelings about things and having to hide my values and emotions i had to go anno or go somewhere else if i wanted to cry about anything i could only share/talk about anime or music or other things that i felt okay about and that were more "safe" in terms of social opinion where nobody could particularly dislike it because nobody has a strong enough opinion about it
the stuff that i really cared about, i had to hide because i felt too vulnerable with it being seen, and felt like anyone could say something bad about it and i would be crushed i felt like i had to hide myself and wear a more socially acceptable mask because i got so messed up as a kid and teenager with my self esteem and criticism
i thought i had to hide my feelings if i felt attracted to anybody too, because if you ever let anyone know youl // liked them, then you'd be a creep and weirdo with obsessive behaviors and people would hate you there was no middle ground for stuff like that, i guess, because kids are mean
i guess, in a way, some people lie and make stuff up to impress other people
i lied to hide things about myself so nobody would know about them i hid my accomplishments especially because it would have crushed my heart if i told people about something i worked really hard on and then it got dismissed or trod on like "okay you did ___, so what? want a cookie? your life still sucks so good job i guess" and that's heartbreaking to me
Anno
I have a hard time thinking any of my accomplishments are of any particular worth. I don't even think that's because of historical precedence; in fact I don't even really know why. But it's just hard to want to boast about things or present them because I don't feel they're even there in the first place.
>>707698 You toured most of the united states' west coast over some, what, four days? You visited LOVE Square. You've been to Japan! Think harder, there's a lot of stuff you've done, you know! I haven't even been to Japan! >>707696 Oh, I think I get you a bit more. Though I still suffer the incapability of expressing my true feelings and emotions. Even to my family or closest, best friends. I'm probably gonna be like that for the rest of my life, though. My dad's like that too, and I take after him really closely. Maybe I find it easier to suppress my thoughts and instincts and compartmentalize them separately from my personality reacting to other people and dealing with their needs.
Jesus christ, I googled a song and the link opened up a youtube app page. But then it minimized itself and now I can't interact with it, it's just consuming one eighth of my screen. Can't even move it or press play and it's not playing anything anymore. Never seen this happen before, haha! New bugs, every day!
Okay mental note: Tell Samu to make Flip enabled threads default AND add a browser cookie tethered setting to Flip by default.
I had to reboot my tablet to get that youtube overlay thingy to disappear. It wouldn't let me open the youtube app to put it in fullscreen or interact with it otherwise and it wasn't showing up in the RAM monitoring app that samsung provided. >>707698 You've got, like, friends who are artists, right? That's another thing not everyone's done. I don't know a single person who does art for public display even just on the internet. I only ever knew one, but that's so long ago and I've got no idea where that sweetheart's moved on since other than going to art school in 2011.
there's a lot of cool potential for flip threads that we never use i wish we used them more often
for instance, anime threads use the flip for our ready posts and regular for our commentary, or the reverse ready up on the left, comment on the right
we could do organized discussions where the person who has the main speaker channel is on the right, and meta commentary goes on the left that way the main topic doesnt get disorganized
or rather than the main speaker, just like the main topic switch sides when having a side topic
>>707703 Yeah, I think it's a fun idea. You could use it to format things for like tabletop games, too. For example, putting NPC dialogue or GM dialogue on the right. Or you could put Out of Character discussion on the right and keep in-character posts on the left.
>>707706 Ah, secret s/a/nta. I've wanted to do that kind of thing for a while but I usually don't have a whole lot of expendable capital by the time I finish buying two or three gifts for the other four people in my family and maybe a gift or two for friends afterwards. Though, last christmas I was so bankrupt because I was a big loser and spent several thousands on coke by then. Still managed to get a few gifts for my family but I'd basically reached the end of my financial net and wanted to stop that nonsense by then.
>>707698 it doesnt even have to be serious life accomplishments it could just be goals and things, outcomes of even small stuff
for instance the secret s/a/nta initiative and making cards for people i didn't want to share those things in a place where people knew me because i just am so sensitive to people saying what a dumb trash idea something is, why am i doing that, et cetera et cetera
or the outcome with my ink paintings that i tried a new technique on it turned out really weird because of the new technique, but i was just getting the point where i really trusted /moe/ at that time so i made one for the people i trusted the most and people appreciated it even though it was dumb
then i made one for MFD and he made some dumbass comment like "what is that, bacon? why are you giving this to me" when the brownscale bluffs of the landscape turned out a little flat that crushed me and i stopped doing it
it's just hard to open up about things i care about. i still have that problem a lot today. that's why it's so hard for me to communicate, i have to try to put things in neutral terms so that i can describe it objectively instead of talking about my desires or goals or expectations
>>707706 Yeah, it's really tough for me to speak about what I love too. That's why I've always been an advocate for MDMA, it's let me say things I'd absolutely never be able to and appreciate people openly. It's great but only something I've done rarely. I think last time I did it I stayed up with my sisters telling them about how awesome they are after I got home for like 4 hours. Maybe I said something they really wanted to hear cause I made them tear up a bit. But it was stuff I knew and wanted to say before and couldn't.
I still can't manage to put my creative work out there for anyone, haha. It's just, too embarrassing. I can't make anything I think is perfect enough to share. It's fun to do, but I don't want to let people watch.
That sounds kind of mean what MFD did, though. Maybe he didn't mean to be really harsh with what he said or something, but it's not nice to get a gift and be like, "What the fuck is this shit?" Reminds me when I got Shadow the Hedgehog for my birthday once and pretended I wanted it and played it for the person who gave it to me. That game was so fucking horrid. It controls terribly, and the story and gameplay are just garbage. But I mean, if someone gifts you something you gotta show some appreciation, I guess.
I liked your paintings, when you used to post them occasionally. I wish I could express myself graphically, but I find it difficult.
Kannagi📱
Shadow the hegheg.
月
>>707707 despite what it may seem, im a stickler about drugs ive never used anything besides what i was prescribed, other than modafinil but that's just because the prescription costs like 900 dollars but my psych said it's a good drug and she'd prescribe it if she was able to, but it's not indicated for ADD and it's unreasonably expensive.
and ive taken opiate medication, but that's because i have severe bone pain and ive never abused it. i took it in small amounts for that week that my lumbar got fucked up and i couldn't walk without crippling pain
im like a finely tuned machine and drugs throw everything off. i don't even have urges to do anything like that, personally
it means a lot to me when im able to show my appreciation for things naturally. if im unable to, then there's meaningful drive about how to get there. im trying to do better about that stuff now, and i think ive come a long way since last year when i was still drinking. i lashed out at people a lot when i was drinking and i still feel really bad about it.
>>707709 I've tried a lot of stuff. Pretty much everything I've ever been curious about and a few things I didn't think would be interesting but gave a shot at anyways. Literally all that's left on my list is Ayahuasca and that soviet benzo, let me see. Ah yeah, Phenazepam. But I wouldn't try that if I didn't have anything important to do in the next few weeks, judging by the experiences people have reported.
MDMA is still one of the few things I've tried that has only brought wonderful things to my life, and one of the few illicit substances I respect. I think it really deserves more attention as a treatment for psychological trauma and PTSD because it can really do some amazing stuff. The biggest problem is buying it on the street is unreliable. After testing like one third of the pills I've bought came up as at least 1/4th amphetamine and in one case I got capsules that were 100% MDA. That was pretty cool, too, but not what I was looking for.
The only medications I've taken that were prescrived were adderall and t Okay I had to go get the bottle to remember the name but Eskalith, a lithium pill, and a few SSRIs that didn't seem to do a lot. Adderall helped me be efficient but I didn't have any motivation and didn't find anything to be very interesting. I didn't want to talk either. Lithium made me basically an emotionally sterile robot. I didn't feel anything, I didn't want anything, I didn't even hate it honestly, but there was nothing there.
I think in the end, I was probably more healthy on Lithium, but it's been a long time since then too. I might have a bad reaction to it now, or feel uncomfortable taking it.
But I'd rather feel what hurts. I'd rather feel what's enervating. These things make me feel like I'm more human. I don't care for anything that makes me feel number.
Oh, and I honestly don't like opiates or benzos in general. I'd only try Phenazepam because the ridiculous stories of people losing weeks of their lives seems funny. It's a
Good story to tell and something I'd like to do at some point in my life!
Opiates in general just make me kind of irritable, and benzos make it difficult to feel anything or remember it. >>707709 Makes sense to me that you feel more personal about what you've enjoyed while you're sober. That's naturally your default state, so if you like it then, you definitely like it at the core, right?
I don't remember you ever lashing out at me, at least, or I just didn't take any kind of offense directed thisaways. But drunk people do behave erratically from time to time. Most people probably understand and aren't too hard up about it so you shouldn't worry much about it. Especially if you're not that person, anymore. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you're a changed person by now. That was just a foolish mistake done by an undeveloped form of you, right?
Maybe I was unclear. I don't mean it literally. Metaphorically and temporally, that was a different "you". Now you've learned more, seen more, and you have changed. It doesn't mean it's okay you did that, but it means that you aren't the same person who did it, and all you have to do in order to be absolved is contribute more positive energy than you delivered negative energy beforehand. Literally, you are still the same person, as I am also the same person I was 5 years ago, but you also aren't. All that has been done can be forgiven. All that has been wronged may be forgotten in favor of rights.
Well, unless I'm wrong about what the afterlife is and I actually just go to hell for what I've done.
But I choose to believe there is a karmic scale to balance!
no, i dont believe in stuff like that im the same person. i don't mean it literally either i have a state that corresponds to that behavior. i might never access that state, or i know not to go there, but that doesn't mean it's not part of me.
and whether that action ever comes up again or not, what it encompasses is a lot more than the surface action it's about how i process and store emotions, the kinds of things i keep under the surface and how i feel about them the fact that i can lash out at people and be petty and vindictive about things that happened a long time ago that people didn't have a lot of control over, that plays into my being regardless of whether or not i ever lash out at somebody again. it's still part of who i am and what i am capable of.
This ball chair is pretty amazing! like your back automatically just straightens out perfectly when you sit on it upright. It's just a big, inflatable ball so my butt sinks into it as much as it needs to, rather than a firm chair that puts direct pressure on the tailbone. That's what gives me so much distress usually in sitting down, is the pressure on the tailbone pushing my spine up and causing my damaged vertebrate a lot of pain. By the end of the day, sitting in a chair for 8 or 10 hours, my nerves are all fugged up and I really can barely do anything upright and I have to lay down with a heating pad.
This is so much better. I can also freely rock back and forth on it or side to side, so my muscles don't get as stiff from being hyperextended in one position for too long, or the other muscles getting weak from not being used. It's just the right height, and my new desk is the perfect height for typing ontop of. The downside to the dek // desk is that there's not enough room to have my laptop at the back and my separate keyboard up front. So i can either type directly on my laptop, which is a lot easier than trying to use it laying down, or i can type with the separate keyboard on my lap with a pillow.
Once I get a monitor, I can plug my laptop into the monitor and have my keyboard in front of that, though, and just have my laptop sitting off to the side. Depending on how big the monitor base is, I might be able to dual screen on this desk. They won't be side-by-side, though. It'd have to be behind the laptop, on this little elevated shelf.
>>707714 Oh, that's okay though. I want to believe I'm not the same person I've always been. Cause that would make me a sociopathic misanthrope who's committed manslaughter. But I've never been like that so long as I've been here, and I don't think I'll ever be that kind of person again. Every day I get something new that changes who I am and it's building to the person I will be when I'm put in the casket and they say whatever post-mortem speech I get to whoever it is.
I really want to believe in reincarnation, too... Across time, space, such. Whatever I do is important and will get reflected either in my lifetime or next time. Whoever I know will continue to be, and I might run into them again.
Otherwise, it's just too depressing. I can't honestly believe this is the only existence there is, that this planet is the only earth, that this life is the only lifetime that my energy will be used for. There's definitely way more out there and way more places to see and go. This earth is just infinitesimal compared to the universe. There's thousands, maybe millions more out there and maybe a few of them have someone thinking what I am right now. >>707715 What is a ball chair anyways? Is it like a bean bag thing?
I got this kind of elastic, bungee-cord suspension chair from a sporting goods store that I use when I play games in my room on such rare occasion. Back when Monster Hunter World was new and I could talk to Rook/Miguel if I used the excuse of playing Monster Hunter with him, I used it a lot more.
I miss talking to him. You know, I really loved him. My heart stirs thinking about him. He let me sit in his lap in philly and I got red-faced. Wish I was the kind of person he sought. He knows all this, already, and you probably do too, haha. I've sent a bunch of stuff to him and he replies, like, 3 months later... He was really in the deeper part of the hole, last we talked. I wish he'd respond to me more quickly.
You know those exercise balls, the inflatable ones? It's just one of those. It's a little bit thicker material, I think, since it's meant for more intensive use. This one has a cloth cover that goes around it too.
I know those suspension chairs you're talking about. Those are nice for lounging and recreation. This is definitely more useful for working at a desk, though.
I miss rook a lot, too. I feel like I cause him a lot of distress, though. I'm kind of an emotionally heavy person and take everything super, super serious, which is a buzzkill for a lot of people. I wish I was more adept at the lighthearted flirting playfulness stuff, it looks like people have a lot of carefree fun with that and I imagine the heart flutters a bit getting all that attention from someone you admire. Mine would. Im too autsy though, and I don't really have anything to say besides being focused on more serious things. It's not that I can only take things seriously, but that I'm just conversationally challenged and I panic a little bit when I don't know what to say, and that's where my brain goes to find something to talk about.
I really was deprived of a lot of fun during my developmental years, so I'm just not built right for it. Any time I tried to be silly or do something that wasn't 100% serious, I'd get yelled at in such an awful way that I feel discomfort and shame even now for trying to do anything lighthearted. It's really a shame.
I wish I could explain that to people so they'd understand why I'm so heavy-hearted all the time, but in doing so I have to bring the mood down with heavy-heartedness to explain it. It's really a difficult situation. Maybe I'll get lucky and the person(s) I want to know that information about me will happen to read this post in passing through and silently take it in and appreciate it. It's not likely though. They don't read our posts too much.
Anno
>>707715 The ball's probably nice to wiggle on too. I'm a bit of a bouncy sitter so that's what first comes to mind when I think of sitting on one hah hah. Like roll it around a bit under you while listening to music or when playing Mahjong to keep the body moving. If I didn't like having something to rest my lower back against I'd consider one. Maybe if I ever get a console corner wherever I'm living I'd use a ball like that instead of a chair or sofa. But I'd also kind of like a bean bag chair for that too.
If I'm not restrained by the shape of a rigid chair I tend to shift around a lot on whatever I'm sitting on, kind of like what Jan's saying. Like if I'm reading on my bed I'll start off laying on it normally but like twenty minutes later I'm laying on my back with my legs pointing straight up the wall.
>>707717 It's like one of those Yoga balls? I'm kind of confused. Maybe it's easier if you pay more attention to your posture, but I sit in all sorts of stupid poses at the computer. I'd probably sit in that classic "L" pose with my feet up on the seat in the car while driving too, if I could manage to hit the gas some other way.
When I'm playing games I like change poses every 20 minutes at least. Unless one of those goddamn cats has picked me to sit on and I have to just let them do it till my legs fall asleep.
Kannagi📱
I wanna try out a standing desk but yoga balls sound fun. Sitting long hours sucks.
>>707717 It felt really nice, when he held me like that. But I knew it wasn't something I could really have. He just doesn't feel like that. Those kinds of things are what make me subconsciously think about the possibilities I'd have as a girl, I guess. But I probably wouldn't be his type if I was born differently, either. I just want to be his friend as long as I can. I hope he stays alive and finds his happiness, because he's been holding on for a long time and doesn't know what to look for. He's kind of like me in that aspect, I guess. Last time I talked to him, he was kind of drunk after having a bit of fun with his friends. He told me that he uhh, actually, I probably shouldn't post what he sent to me privately. But anyways he said he was in a bit of a bad spot and looked at my messages to cheer him up when he needed something to keep going. That made me really happy. I want him to be happy. I want him to be with me, and talk to me, but most of all I just want him to stay alive and find his happiness. He's awesome, so I know it's out there somewhere and he just hasn't gotten lucky enough to spy it among the oversaturation of stimuli. >>707720 Let me tell you, standing long hours sucks too. I stand in the same place for eight to twelve hours a day without sitting down. My legs and feet hurt so bad when I get home. What's important is to make sure you don't do too much of either or!
月
>>707718 Yes, I also thought it might be a problem to not have something to lean my back against with a ball chair. Surprisingly it isn't too bad. It's because the way it sinks under you lines your back up so straight that it's supported properly and you don't feel like you need to lean against something. It's worth trying out.
>>707720 Yeah, yoga balls are nice. I had one when I was younger and I used it a whole lot, just lying down on it, rolling back and forth a lot. Standing desks sound really nice, but I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be doing intensive typing while standing up. for some reason that seems difficult.
Anno
I could probably be comfy on one; I think I've had a chance with one but not really a long duration. And honestly with most seats I end up on I tend to not use most of it and don't lean back on the seat in the first place. But when I'm getting comfortable for a long duration I definitely want something I can sink that lower back of mine into.
>>707721 Yeah standing for long periods of time is miserable. I'm fine with some physically intense work and I think I've got pretty good endurance but man I don't like standing for long periods of time. I'd much rather walk for four hours straight than stand for it.
I dropped my phone on my face. That hurt. >>707721 Yeah i figured that as standing still is still considered sedentary I wanna movr about and bounce along from my desk and just be more active. Sitting down makes me feel shitty
Also the sky is pretty today Seeing it upside down on my bed Is nice
I have so many feelings I need to organize and put in their right place. I wish I could just take the people that they apply to, sit them down, and explain everything to each one of them in excruciating detail until they understood everything I'm feeling.
I know that's a ridiculous concept, though, and even if I laid it all out here, and in the really, really off chance it all got read, it wouldn't have substantial impact on anyone. It'd just be "okay, so what" I'm just one person in everyone else's life, and these feelings which are so incredibly important to me don't have any significant impact on others' life and it won't change the way they feel about anything. It's hard. It would be actually really disappointing and dissatisfying to see that happen, even, and I'd feel like I wasted a lot of someone else's time.
>>707726 It's not a desire that's actually logistically possible. It's desiring a form of communication that doesn't exist, to share the impact and significance of my feelings. But it's simply impossible to do. Even if someone knew my feelings, it's impossible for them to feel it as I feel it. That's what I mean.
>>707724 You can put a treadmill under your standing desk. A lot of people do that. There are even some treadmill desk all-in-one setups. Those VR treadmills are really expensive but that would be neat. It's really good for you too, to be walking and getting that normal exercise while doing desk stuff.
>>707725 You can do that with me, you know. Just write it down and record yourself saying it and I'll listen to it while I waste my time after work killing Ogress Shaman. Guess I'm assuming you have things you want to say to me particularly, though, haha. If you did you probably could figure out a way to tell it to me. But if you do, I am here. I like listening to people's thoughts. I usually listen to podcasts about bullshit while I'm relaxing before bed. Hearing people just talk is relaxing to me. It's almost like I'm enjoying real connections between people.
>>707723 Frankly, intense physical exertion is less painful to me than being immobile for long periods. I could lift and move freight all day, I've done it for literally 9 hours before moving fairly heavy cases of drinks that were between 40lb and 60lb to and fro and felt less worn out than what standing still for 8 hours gets me. I'm not really sure why but there's probably a scientific reason behind it, several people I've complained about it to have vouched for it being painful to stand up in one place.
>>707724 I used to go out and run every few days just to enjoy being mobile. But it's kind of lost the appeal, because I've literally ran so much on foot around here, I've covered almost every footpath in a 15 mile radius.
I got the cops called on me twice while running, too, and it makes me uncomfortable to deal with that, I really don't want to have to do it again. Even knowing my city's cops are generally benevolent. The second time, this guy groped me all over, looking for anything suspicious I could've been carrying! It was kind of uncomfortable but kind of exciting because he was a cute asian guy.
Kannagi📱
>>707725 Unfortunately I can't afford either a desk or treadmill I wanted to get an indoor bike but they are expensive too VR treadmill or bike would be cool. >>707726 American police scare me a bit, I think a lot of the media around police in the us is very critical and ive absorbed it.
I wanna walk more, hopefully build myself up to running.
Anno
>>707726 If I had to hazard a guess on my extremely limited knowledge, I'd say it's because human beans are just not evolved to be standing creatures. We're exceptionally good at walking, walking is what made us very successful predators in those ancient days when we were not much more than animals on the savannah. Our feet evolved to be good at keeping us comfortable in motion. Also shoes aren't really designed to be standing assist technology either. Like the song goes, these boots were made for walkin'.
Maria
>>707726 >cops called on me twice while running Is that normal How do you even make that phone call and why
>>707729 Lanky white kid running through the back trails behind your suburbs? I mean I wouldn't blink twice at it but in the culture that breeds paranoia and does have a problem with ruffigans probably using those trails to avoid drawing too much attention to themselves, I can understand their panicked response.
"officer there's a guy running around" I dunno man maybe it's just a different culture but I don't get it It's not like you were carrying a tv with you
>>707733 The call would probably be more like "Officer there's a shady kid running through the paths behind my house; I'm worried he's looking to break in to a house to find something to steal".
those neighborhood watch groups with nosy moms can be really vigilant about that stuff
they know who lives in the neighborhood and stuff, and if they see someone lurking around who doesn't belong in the neighborhood, they get suspicious about why the person is there especially if you're in just a residential area that's tucked away or something where there's no destination
Anno
>>707733 Dress cleanly, present yourself neatly (and unfortunately, probably be white). In all respect to Jan I imagine his loose dress shirts and old t-shirts and ratty jeans that are super comfy to go jogging in don't give people the image of someone out for an athletic run.
Kannagi📱
>>707730 Wow, i would get buff in no time. Also confused why my phone wants to predict kettle all the time
Kannagi📱
Neighbourhood watch used to be a thing but now most people are apathetic about what happens outside in the uk.
>>707729 "suspicious person running along [access road]" and "suspicious person hiding underneath a bridge in construction during a sudden thunderstorm" respectively. First time they were nice enough and let me go after they caught up a mile or so down the street, second time they thoroughly frisked my person, interrogated me a bit in the car and let me choose where they dropped me off between a gas station and the motel. I'd probably have gotten stolen away to jail or some shit if I was colored, I bet. People call the cops on damn near anything these days. >>707727 I've never gotten intimidated by a cop myself, but they're definitely scarier here than anywhere else. The Dallas cops are a lot more assholish than my city's, but even then I just don't feel comfortable around them like one should.
I've actually done coke with a cop who just finished their shift before, he used to hit up the bar near my last job after work and I'd see him buy a 40oz bottle of Bud Ice and drive to the bar down the street and he'd finish it while on the way. Fucking legend that guy. I don't go to that place much anymore though. Last time I went there weren't many familiar faces, and I don't really remember a lot of what happened that night anyways.
>>707736 Hey, I wasn't in that stuff at the time. I was in a much more suspicious hoodie and cargo pants with a hat obscuring my face.
You kind of got me with the wardrobe of choice, though. I don't have a whole lot of options that look normal and also hide my scars. Plus I rarely go shopping for new clothes, haha.
Anno
Your wardrobe's pretty much fine; if you were running through the valley here you'd fit in with a bunch of other doofs that are down there getting their weekly dose of FIT. I was at one of the main hearts of the downtown earlier picking up SMM2 and I saw this weird-ass dance performance of a guy and two girls with the guy shirtless. People here dress weirder than you'd probably feel comfortable and no one gives them any shit. I guess none of that's particularly suburban like where you probably spend a lot of time in.
>>707740 Canada really does sound like a nice place! Wish I lived in a first world country like Canada instead of the United States. Honestly my dress isn't too unusual to see here, either, except it's more common to see hispanic people sporting the loose button up dress shirts than white people. Hell, the couple times I went to the spanish sports bar wearing my usual crap, people were talking to me in spanish by default, and I knew at least a few of them from work and they know english. Fellas were probably just a little too pickled in cerveza and coca or something to notice immediately.
>>707742 Yeah, I knew 7-Elevens were up there! But according to the zone stats, they're only pulling in about as much revenue as the northeast (Basically Maine to Virginias) and heartland (Most of the midwest). So they're not getting a lot of attention from the executives.
Japan still delivers more than all of the US 7-Elevens and Canadian 7-Elevens combined in revenue and continues to be the forerunner of the global presence.
Shit, there's almost as many 7-Elevens in Tokyo alone as there are in the entire Lone Star zone which includes Texas, Oklahoma, and Louisiana.
>>707743 I wanna travel more, too. Wish passports were cheaper and quicker to acquire here. It'd cost me $150 and take "between two and six months" to get a passport that lets me fly overseas.
A card that'll let me go to south america or canada only costs $40 and a trip to the DMV, though. I'd probably like visiting somewhere such as Brazil more than most of the places in Europe anyways, I don't know too much about what's over there.
Anno
Get yourself a nice Canadian husband and marry into the country! We got plenty of cornerstores like 7-Eleven and gas stations!
Kannagi📱
I wanna travel more, i think I might put some money aside and travel to europe. Amsterdam is cheap as heck. Would be nice if i coukd travel with a friend
Anno
>>707741 Well, I kind of get the feeling that convenience stores in the fashion of 7-Eleven is quite as -aren't quite as popular here as they are in America, let alone Japan. But 7-Eleven also has to play ball with closer-to-home convenience stores, and we still have quite a few independent corner store places. I think drugstore convenience stores are more popular here, which tend to be a few sizes up from the cornerstore size. Kind of like that ... place we stopped at one of the days in Philly this year, where Blue bought an audio cable. We have a LOT of those up here.
At least 'round here; I don't really know what the scene is like elsewhere in the country.
Kannagi📱
>>707741 It costs about 100 quid for a same day passport here Thats crazy howong it takes My phone sucks atat typing on moe
>>707744 Convenience stores do best in locations that are close to residential zones which are unusually far from grocery stores or big box department stores, that may or may not affect their presence in canada, I'm not sure how intelligently zoned canadian cities are and all. There's a lot of places in the states that suffer from wild and unmanaged expansion resulting in poor zoning. Especially true for metropolitan areas that've expanded rapidly.
Plus, convenience shops aren't a very unique or mindblowing idea. They had these kinds of stores even back in the early days of american settling with general stores serving many settlements along the oregon trail and such. It took 7-Eleven a long time to expand their business into other countries globally, so they missed out on a lot of potential.
7-Eleven isn't really anything special either, it's just another conbini with all the stuff any given conbini has. Your local store might not have some fancy store rewards program tied to a mobile phone app but it does all the same shit and they serve the same shit for the same price or cheaper, since corporate strictly franchises and demands a 50% profit cut on all proceeds.
Wawa is like, 10x better than 7-Eleven. Fuckin' wish I worked at Wawa dude.
if someone talks about having a decent job, what do you think that entails? what do you think counts as a decent job
Anno
I'm going to assume at least one of two things, probably both, depending on what the surrounding context makes me feel. One, that they are doing a job they at least brings them some satisfaction or is tolerable in its struggles, and B, pays them enough that they can sustain the lifestyle they enjoy and save a bit towards the future.
yeah, i guess that was kind of an empty question without context with context it would be just as empty, but i was just curious, i guess im wondering what kind of money i would need to be making with my transcription business before people considered it a decent job
>>707749 A decent job is one I can show up and do at a specific time on whatever days and leave when the shift is over and get paid for the time I spent there. The rest doesn't really matter.
The best job would be something I'd only have to do like once a year and could coast off the paycheck from it until next year. Like CONTRACT KILLING
Kannagi📱
Right now I'd like a job that pays just enough to save up and i ave Have to do Some walking to get there like hop on a train and walk there
Anno
>>707752 I'm not going to really consider a job other people do a decent job unless they tell me they think it's a decent job. My opinion on their job is kind of a useless thing to form. I have a definition of a decent job like a stated above, and jobs I take on myself would be beholden to that definition, but if people don't tell me if they think their job is a decent job or not, I'm just gonna think they're doing a job. Any further deliberation doesn't have value to me.
it's definitely based around what other people think what kind of money i'd probably need to be making for other people to think i have a decent job and i know that that's variable from person to person
Maria
A decent job is one that provides enough money to take care of basic needs and provides room for savings, without putting too much emotional or physical stress on whoever's working it. Which is really difficult to define since that's an abstract thing. Mental stressors that is
Anno
>>707753 I knew a guy that worked far up in northern Alberta that did a job like that. He worked like four or six months a year and the money he made up there allowe dhim -allowed him to live more than comfortably in the intermittent time back home in B.C.
Er, not a job like CONTRACT KILLING, a job that allowed him to coast off the paycheck, duh.
Kannagi📱
Doing a job involving coding might be interesting too
>>707758 Yeah, that kind of life sounds appealing. I could work my ass off and suffer for a third or maybe half the year, then indulge myself and explore my passions without worrying for money or coordinating my life around working every damn day.
Those kinds of comfortable positions are probably beyond my unqualified nobody looking ass, though.
I'm not saying I wanna kill someone, but a year's wage is a lot. All you gotta do is pull the trigger, and you don't really know him, right?
That's illegal though, I'd never do anything that was against the law.
Anno
The job I had doing data work at a bank for ten months back in 2015-2016 pretty much put me in that situation. I was able to coast off those savings until ... well, I've had some other relatively small influxes of money but by and large what's in my bank account right now is still a part of the money I earned back then. Though I've had the fortune of living at home and having relatively few necessary expenses. There's no way I could have coasted on those savings, really right from the get-go, if I had to handle all the expenses that come with being a normal functioning adult.
Maria
What if you ordered a hit on yourself just so you could fight them The most dangerous game
>>707761 I had something kinda like that when I quit my first job, since we were doing alright financially and I didn't spend any money for like 4 months other than buying some liquor now and then. Think this was in like 2014. But I kind of pissed away my savings when I quit and ended up searching for work in a couple months. It was like $4000 or so, don't really remember what all I spent it on but I was enjoying myself until my account cleared out, I think. Hah, if I'd just saved it and found a job as soon as I could, I wouldn't be working 50 hours a week now I guess. Well, I wasn't in a good mood then and I felt better by the time I got my next job. It was probably worth it.
I really ought to just join my dad's contracted electrician agency as an apprentice. They pay $14.50/hr starting and train you for the journeyman license exam after two years, then you can do more important things for $19-$22/hr. I'm just lazy and don't want to have to drive 1.5hrs to the shop and then work for 10hrs until driving home for 2hrs.
I'd miss out on video games and anime to distract me.
okay well maybe if i gave an example scenario it would help let's say your sister is gonna marry some guy and they plan to have a family together, with both of them working and living in their own place what do you think would be a "okay, he's got a decent job" level when assessing this guy who wants to marry her
obviously a great job would be great, but i wanna know what's just "decent" and not the job itself but like what he's bringing in it's gonna vary by city, so like in san francisco if you're making 50,000 a year you can't even afford your apartment, or new york but ignoring those really big anomalies
>>707764 Well, my sister's got a better paying job with awesome benefits compared to me. She could marry pretty much whatever jobless loser she wants and they'd be able to make rent on her salary. That car manufacturer shells out well.
I guess I'd consider any job that paid more than $15/hr here to be pretty good.
Rent's kind of complicated in the cities around me, though. Some complexes will run you like $1100 or $1200 a month for two bedrooms when a nearby place is $800 but crowded.
Anno
Sorry Moon, honestly the answer is, I don't know. I don't really have the life experience that gives me even a vague idea of what a decent job for two married people working and living together would be. Like my dad has a pretty good job, I think. Not good enough that he could have probably sustained our family of four kids in a pretty high cost of living city without my mother working. but between the two of them they gave us a pretty nice upbringing. My mother's a teacher and while that brings her a lot of work satisfaction, teachers here suffer similar problems to down there. Doesn't pay great, though it comes with a lot of benefits. I guess I might consider being a teacher a decent job then? Work satisfaction is always gonna be up to the individual but as far as pay goes, I think it covers the minimum requirements to be a decent job.
>>707768 She's not single, sorry buddy. Her boyfriend's from Cali and he seems nice, though. I met him a couple weeks ago or so.
I'm afraid you're just stuck with me as an alternative. It's fine if you'd rather look elsewhere though. I wouldn't blame you.
Kannagi📱
I guess it depends on both parties earning power and ability to see each other, if long hours of work is required and they dont get to see rach other that would suck. I dont think it matters as long as its sustainable? I dont what that is in terms of a physical value
>>707769 i was just joking about your sister. obviously.
the reason im asking is completely unrelated to marriage, that was just a scenario in which i could see it being used in that way since people were getting hung up on what i meant
>>707771 I know, it was obvious with that dorky smiley face. I just thought it'd be funny to take an obviously facetious comment seriously. Made me laugh a bit at least.
Frankly, I can't answer what's a good job or not. Because I don't really consider it often and haven't when I was looking for work, either. I've only ever looked for whatever job would get me paid fastest.
My standards for work environment are extremely low. I'll deal with whatever bullshit, just pay me and tell me when and how long. My only caveat with my current boss is to give me 8 hours between shifts to take a nap at least.
My sisters can marry whoever the fuck they want, as long as they're happy I'm satisfied with whatever they shoot for.
Anno
Man it's six in the morning and I haven't felt particularly tired once tonight. I slept in hard yesterday but probably not stay up all night tired.
Kannagi📱
Moon has made me see those kind of comments everywhere and I get tempted shitpost replies like it.
What's a good job is something that won't kill you maybe. lol, look at my post number. get fucked. anyway, when I join the CSIS SWAT team, it will be a good job. It can't kill me. yeah retail will kill you LOL
Kannagi📱
Nah, a good job is not doing retail and anything customer facing
Kannagi📱
Working with customers sucks.
Anno
I'd be fine working in select retail. Or honestly just put me behind a cashier and I'm fine with that too. You don't actually have to make much conversation beyond "Hey how you doin'" and most often than not the customer just wants you to ring their stuff through and take their money.
I'd be happy working in like a bookstore even if I'm one of the people on the floor. If there's one thing I'm more than content to talk to literally anyone about, it's books.
>>707777 A job that'd actually kill me and pay out big money to my kin would be pretty good I guess. The military wouldn't take me with my medical history and I'd probably get booted the fuck out if somehow I did get in though. >>707778 >>707779 I've never had too much trouble with customers honestly. Maybe the people around here are just cool.
Well, I've had a couple people threaten to beat my ass and that guy who pistol whipped me. But that's like 1/5000 or fewer encounters. There's far more people who were nice to me.
I just want to be a fucking mercenary and give my family 50k every single paycheck I get Is that so much to ask, universe?
Kannagi📱
When robots replace all the jobs, i want be on the hivemind repair team, big money. Dangerous robots
Kannagi📱
>>707781 Jesus fuck, you got pistol whipped and you say you dont mind customers. Working with humans in a forced contexts sucks. I suck at social interactions and shitty people are the worst
Maria
Pretending to be nice to people who you want to tell to fuck off and die is the worst
>>707784 Two or three bad days in like, four years. It isn't too much in the end. I'm not dead and it's just a bruise, which healed. I got the rest of the shift off and my boss bought me a 6-pack of dos equis. Well, I guess he wrote it off.
I also had a guy give me $100 after he won a lotto jackpot I sold to him, that alone balances it out! >>707782 Too bad we don't live in feudal Japan. We could be pledging our lives to our Daimyo and striking his enemies down for naught but guaranteed livelihood for our family and sustenance on the warpath.
Kannagi📱
Thats a suuuuuuuuuuuuuuper low bar if not being dead is your threshold
Kannagi📱
The little old ladies over here spend obscene amounts of mpney on lotto and scratchcards Well down south they did, it was insane the amount of money they put on the counter.
Anno
Little old ladies everywhere spend obscene amounts of money on lotto and scratchcards.
>>707786 I would thrive there. Won't go any further anyway this song fucked my up for the first 30 minutes I heard it >>>/watch?v=dwi2pXpiQu4 need to play this more for real
>>707787 Look, my expectations aren't really luxurious. >>707788 There's a guy who comes to my store and buys $60 to $180 of lotto three times a day. Every single day. He spends more money than I make on lotto. Wonder where he gets all that cash. >>707790 DMC4 was such a mediocre game after 3. Good soundtrack though. Glad they improved Dante's gameplay and put that shit in 5. Switching styles is really fun. >>707792 I don't really care about that shit. Prestige and ceremony is boring. Just let me fight!
>>707804 is this what they call Slam Poetry >>707802 Look, it doesn't involve me bisecting a foolish supporter of that bastard Ieyasu or joining the volley in the firing squad, so it's boring.
>>707796 Depends on where you live. A decent job in Wyoming can be a job that won't even cover a quarter of your costs of living in NYC.
Anno
>>707800 >a week Shit, if that. Game's so short I finished it in two sittings the first time. Not even considering the second half is literally just the first half of the game in reverse order except you finally get to play Dante.
Kannagi📱
>>707806 If i have learned anything from japanese dramas tea ceremony is going where samurai dish witty insults at each other and then become either brothers or blood enemies
>>707810 I haven't "finished" skyrim until 6 years after it was released and I played it day zero so and i also got like 7 games on my plate so yeah it'll take me a week lol >>707812 🖕
>>707815 i could make 30k. i dont but i could, with my current job and all if i really got my business going well and got a few more contracts for more steady work, got some of my other stressors fucked off like accessing healthcare and getting my meds, i could make... let's see I could make about 40K after taxes if I put in the effort and had the right resources
do you think most people would consider that a decent job, short of living in california or new york obviously
>>707814 Oh, wew. Well, I haven't finished Skyrim either. But that's cause I thought that game was fucking garbage and got bored and then installed a bunch of mods which were only enough to be fun for like 3 more hours. Shit game. Morrowind is way better.
Even ESO is better, honestly. At least there's more than two kinds of areas in that game.
I've only got like, 3 games I actually want to play. But I ought to get some sleep now since it's almost sunrise.
Kirara 🍄
>>707814 open a post and click on the focus button then hit flip
>>707819 That's why it took me 6 years. And I din't even get fucking closure. Bethesda... you are pathetic.
Anno
>>707817 I wouldn't starve on 30,000 CAD here. It wouldn't be the most satisfying life but I could definitely live off it.
Kannagi📱
The most ive ever earned yearly was 21,000 USD
Kirara 🍄
>>707818 i think if you told people you make 40k a year, they would think it's a decent job, yeah although if you're working for yourself and making that much, eventually you'll have to pay for your own health care which will be costly
oh yeah, that's true. i was just trying to figure out whether i ultimately need to streamline myself into a different line of work or whether the potential i have here is realistic for some goals i'd like to have
Kannagi📱
My dream would be to code and make something thats sells a lot and then work from home.
Koi
>>707798 I would love a breakfast right now. I skated out of work early and am now roaming the sunrise streets. Nothing open but laundromats around here.
Kannagi📱
>>707827 You make vividly imagine you rollerblading out of work *made
Anno
It brought to me the image of him skateboarding out, hah hah.
Koi
>kick flips off an office table Fuck docs Skip out
Oh, when I meant 30k you'll starve here I meant when you have a family to feed not this single with no kids shit y'all shold be good on that regard, hahaha.
Anno
Shit, I can't drink myself to sleep anymore. Maybe I should cut back.
Kirara 🍄
drinking yourself to sleep is really stupid anyways it's impossible to get good sleep drunk
>>707851 Yeah, that's true. I don't literally drink myself unconscious though. Usually fall asleep pretty quick around now however. I don't think I'd have the money to blackout if I wanted to, haha.
I'll just take some sleep medicine and listen to relaxing music.
>>707859 deep in the mountains of tibet, there is a man with no name. you must find him and ask him the secret to good sleep. he will tell you to use progressive muscle relaxation
resize your pictures 60% that's what I do. dodge that fucking pixiv sample stuff >>707863 Prozac I was never on that. heh. That's the name of a old electronic canadian band too. "Sucks to be you, I know, I know."
Kannagi📱
I lean on my arms at the table way too much My arms have pins and needles while i try to type
Kirara 🍄
progressive muscle relaxation is something i have people with insomnia do and it makes pretty big differences in how quickly they fall asleep
keep a regular sleep schedule, try to go to bed within an hour of a regular time every day don't eat anything substantial within 1-2 hours before bed because this will disrupt your sleep reduce not just blue light but all sources of bright light an hour or more before bed. that includes house lamps
>>707872 Not sleeping Until I suddenly need to sleep. Which sounds like "thats what normal people do" but like I mean, until I'm falling asleep in the middle of playing a Video game
Kannagi📱
If i have any caffeine close to bed, I'll have a hard time sleeping same with weed or if it is stupidly humid and hot
ive been teaching good sleep hygiene since i was 15 years old telling people about electronics, blue lights, the pinneal gland and melatonin, migraines they all dismissed it like "yeah okay whatever sure but im gonna do it anyway" now everyone uses flux and it comes preinstalled on some computers
i wish i could have invested stock in a younger me smart kid
>>707884 Yeah, you're right. Everything will work out eventually. Nothing's the right thing to do. Just gotta keep looking.
Okay, I'm feeling leaden. I'll probably get my five hours in for the night. >>707888 I am laying down. Well, I'll leave this open. Hope it pleases you.
After 9 days I let the horse run free because the desert turned to sea>>707887 can you like lay down a post and have the spontanious pass-out happen to you ty
Then it will happen. Don't even think about it. You will dream the endless universe full of darkness and nothingness, just like I do.>>707887 Pleases me immensely.
Kirara 🍄
i started watching twin peaks im on like episode 4 the surreal humor is really good it's definitely my kind of shit
im working right now but i can't fucking focus i mean, i can do the work and move forward with the project regardless but i cannot really follow what's going on like, there's a lot of structured conversation and i can't make context out of it to ensure everything flows smooth and has cohesion because i can't focus i dissociate from it while i work on it because i don't have my fucking medications
goddamnit why do i have to wait two months to have my medication so i can work this is extremely unreasonable how am i supposed to function
Kannagi📱
Twin peaks is amazing. We should do moe watch it together thing if possible. So much happens in so few episodes. I've only watched the first 4 episodes but they were neato
Anno
I've never watched Twin Peaks but I've got an interest in it. It's been in my periphery for a long time now.
Kirara 🍄
it's on Netflix
Kannagi📱
American Netflix is so much better than uk Netflix. I want to watch into the spiderverse
>>707905 haha i hate how people name their research work
月
yeah dude this year has been fucked for my conferences asco was trash this year and the ICML has all this goofy shit
it makes me think like you go into the hematologist and it's like >doc i got double hit lymphoma >so what??? you want me to do something about it? lmao youre fucked, not my problem
Top Ten Worst Cancers Ranked: Did Yours Make The List?!
月
Never Feed Your Patients These 11 Monoclonal Antibodies
Kirara 🍄
Man Develops Brain Tumor: You'll Never Guess Why He Thanked It!
Kannagi★
A wasp came into my room and made me run away. I opened the curtains and I hope it is gone now but I'm on edge now. I have such a strong fear of wasps. I don't even know why but nothing making me run away crying for someone help me more than wasps
he started playing granblue last month for some reason i dont know what compelled him to start he's always talking shit on mobage then he started because he had some downtime and he's like "im just checking it out, not gonna spend any money on it or anything" then he blows 60 bucks on it lmao
Thats a guy apparently. I was curious but they state a bunch of times to people mistaking their gender. I find it amusing they react to another account: >>>/@harima_mekkai/1108045730776702977 Rei_Dunois is an amazing cosplay account.
Kannagi★
My stupid weather bot on twitter got liked by a bot cataloguer wow
月
?? can you two stop posting my pictures on here thanks
Anno
catfish much that's me
Kannagi★
I tried using light twitter again and it is hard to look at. I don't understand why any one would not use dark mode
I just sat out on the back deck in the sun for a bit, petting my cat. She didn't really want to sit in my lap though so it was kind of a pain, leaning over the side of the chair, cast iron arm rest digging into my chest.
Oh your imouto came by? or was it your neechan and her husband probably not, they live way up north right?
>>707979 idk i think that sounds pretty reasonable i hope you guys cremate me and have a party that'd be my wish
>>707982 i know you're against it but i don't really have a preference. i don't care particularly what happens to me as long as it's putting the least burden on people as possible unless i do eventually have a family or something and my partner has a family plot or something but as of now i dont have anyone to make it worthwhile
Kirara 🍄
>being cremated
Kirara 🍄
having a party after a funeral sounds good in theory and it's a nice romantic idea, but it's actually pretty bad for people's mental health if they were close to the deceased it can contribute to the development of pretty severe adjustment disorders
!C0.PerkELE
>>707979 >>707983 Yeah I can understand the idea, but putting that into an advertisement?
FormerRei@mobile
>>707983 There used to be a funeral home that was also a minigolf place. And we had a party after my grandmother's funeral.
>>707983 well im certainly not well adjusted but we had a celebration after my grandfather's funeral. it wasn't especially joyous but it was a celebration of his life with the community
that's with my grandparent's southern baptist community in a rural setting, with farmers and the pastor and pastor's family the paster and his eight daughters did preparations like food and arrangements and serving stuff at a little venue after the funeral where the community gathered and mingled in a less formal and depressing setting than the funeral home or the gravesite
i think it's healthy for the family to feel connected to the community at that time, if they're from a close-knit community like a baptist farming community like that it keeps them grounded and connected to all the things the deceased was also connected to and keeps life in focus
of course i dont have any of that garbage ive only got /moe/, but i think i'd want yall to mingle and stay close-knit if something happened to me like that i wouldn't want it to be impetus for everyone to drift further apart than they already are. which i think could happen if the environment got more strained from tragedy
>>707982 Don't you want to be in bullets and used to hunt things? https://www.inthelighturns.com/memorial-shots-ammo-with-ashes-keepsake-urns.html Ammo to Ashes company. lol >>707981 Yeah my imouto.
Anno
I don't want to hunt things in life, I don't want to be used to hunt things in death!
Kannagi★
Then you do you want to be fired in salute and shower everyone with the ammo residue
>>707992 That's a little different, though. It's weird, but tattoos are art. Having a loved one reduced to ink and permanently stained into your skin as a way to pretend they're immortal is on a different level.
>>707991 the billboard certainly is in poor taste if they're talking about what i just talked about i think it's good, but party isn't a good way to describe that
>>707992 did i ever show you my sister's tattoo books she's had some books published of her tattoo works she does really extravagant ones sometimes, and she does this special work which she calls, uh... i can't rememberw // remember what she calls it, but she does tattoos for amputees and people with disfigurement or horrible scarring to make ugly things look aesthetically pretty like having a leg stump or arm stump looks a little offputting and dressing it up can really help people's self esteem about their disfigurements
but the biggest focus is for women with breast cancer who've had to have surgery to their breasts to remove the cancers after those surgeries, they remove the areola and there's just scarring to the breast so she'll tattoo realistic areola/nipples for those women to make it look more organic, or other ways of making it look nice based on what the woman wants
it can be really difficult for women to lose those parts of themselves that make them feel unattractive or abnormal so either looking normal or embracing their body for what it is really helps them out
>>707995 Okay, I guess thats a bit worse when you put it like that. but this kinda weirds me out a little >>707996 I don't think you have, Thats super nice of her to do that. I like that idea
Kirara 🍄
>>707996 i call them tomorrow and ask what kind of party they throw
!C0.PerkELE
>>707991 >The worst is the people who have their loved ones' ashes turned into ink for a tattoo. oh right that is a thing
!C0.PerkELE
>>707995 btw imagine a whole family doing this for generations to generations to generations with someone having tattoo made out of their parent, who had a tattoo made out of their parent and so on for dozens of generations
Kirara 🍄
people have corpses turned into shit like pencils too fuckin a whole ass life and you wanna remember me by turning me into something like that?
Actually that would be a quite unique trait for some civilization
!C0.PerkELE
>>708001 >ah the pencil is used up >time to throw it away
Kannagi★
Cremation party is basically, I want you to dance when I am dead. Dance for me
Anno
>>708000 Makes me think of a fantasy world where someone's spiritual or arcane powers are inherited through that lineage of tattoos. That could be a whole cultural thing. I'm gonna have to file that one away in the ideabox.
>>708001 there are those places that send you the mail adverts saying they can cremate your pet and compress the ashes into a crystal and send it back to you, or plant it into a flower or something
i really hate those one, it's a really dumb idea two, im pretty sure they just have a box full of cheap-ass prop crystals and send one to whoever pays for this non-existent service
i really have no qualms being cremated atm though because it's the easiest way to deal with my shit i guess i need to set myself as a donor so people can use my stuff but my stuff is pretty bad so i'd feel bad for whoever got it whatever poor soul needs a bone transplant and gets my shitty bones
why? explain im probably just ignorant and don't see what you mean i hadn't seen it that way
Kirara 🍄
we spend our lives benefitting off the deaths of other lives when we're cremated, we're denying the world we took so much from to take anything back imo we have a responsibility to give what we took back when we're done with it
Maria
I hope my corpse can be used as a horror movie prop Immortalise me as a skeleton
月
>>708017 you're always giving back, it just varies what system you're giving back to i can donate my organs and give back to society and to the lives of potential individuals who need it i can donate my body to a cadaver lab so that medical students can have the resources they need to be practicing medical providers, so giving back to human body of knowledge i can be buried and preserved and be contributing to the future of historical records and archiving
i can give back to any given immediate ecosystem by letting animals eat my body, or letting it decompose to bacteria i can immediately increase the entropy instead of letting it advance slowly by combusting my body and just restoring to a molecular equilibrium
i don't really see how any of them are not giving back, but you can choose where you want your energy to go most people want it to go to something proximal to them, so family archiving and stuff in a burial plot or a family mausoleum or whatever, where upcoming generations can have a sense of connection and a place to connect with their ancestors and the family lineage can be traced back to some degree
!C0.PerkELE
>>708018 that is not you that is our liberated skeleton
!C0.PerkELE
>>708017 yeah that is why you need to mummify yourself DENY THE WORLD EVERYTHING THAT WAS YOU
月
id personally like to donate to cadaver lab since im medically curious myself and like cadaver labs and dissection
Anno
fuck the earth im not giving back to its MY stuff now
I was supposed to watch anime today but I have no energy
FormerRei !GURPSRWiTs
Do you want us to lend you our energy?
!C0.PerkELE
with a reasonable interest
Kirara 🍄
>>708019 certainly those are giving back but cremation isn't giving back
as for burial I don't consider that giving back because it's also taking body preservation seems like a stupid attempt at symbolic immortality to me though
>>708027 i won't belabor it too much but i don't agree with your sense of taking and giving here first, nothing actually exists to possess anything or to give anything when you cut the fluff of self identity out of it, we're just part of the natural world and what passes through us is processing of the environment, but nothing is possessed nothing's taken or given other than between arbitrarily defined temporary systems
second, thinking cremation and returning your body to energy directly rather than putting it through a procedure whereby other systems get to process it first before it ultimately reaches that state is pretty biased towards life systems i don't hold that preference. life isn't exceptionally special to me. it's a stage of matter processing that all energy eventually reaches in one identifiable form or another, not necessarily similar to our concept of it
and third, within the systems perspective of taking and giving, there's also interference what happens when you introduce things inorganically to any delicately balanced system? it throws everything off. but here you want to give your body to some ecosystem so it can use your energy meaningfully well, some individual lives might bea // be able to use it meaningfully but it's inorganic and can throw a system off balance, depending on what it is.
for instance, if you were to die in the woods and a small colony of squirrels harvested the meat off your body (they do this), that's a small enough ecosystem that they can, just from your meat in that single generation, grow too large for their own stability the next season and they can be harmed as a result, as well as the stable ecosystem they were organically part of. human systems are complex enough to absorb those kinds of system shocks, so donating to medical science is reasonably organic bacteria and earthworms are basic and robust enough that your body isn't a significant shock to the system of decomposition so you could let your body decompose fa
月
fairly organically as well. but your body is going to do that regardless, even if you try and preserve it. preserving it can also preserve information for the future of humanity, even though you might think it seems meaningless now and there's too many bodies already
but think of how much we've learned about our own species and our evolution and migration from specimens from 15,000 years ago, or how much we learn from any archived piece of data really 10,000 years from now, having billions of bodies preserved from our time period (assuming they were perfectly preserved) could provide a ton of research information about our time period that could offer insight to future medical or environmental sciences maybe they'll want to see what environmental contaminants there were in different areas of the world by examining tissue exposure across large data sets, the same way we use geological information to assemble fossils in chronological order
i have a lot of work to do tonight i could have started on it hours ago, or taken a nap hours ago, and be a good chunk done with it already but im so depressed, stressed out, and unmotivated to focus i have so many urgent feelings which seem really important to me and i have no outlet for them
i have the means to make substantial income. every day i have the opportunity to acquire work and complete work and i'm fully capable of doing so and making a respectable income i have no emotional impetus to or mental clarity to because i have nothing to look forward to in order to substantiate the amount of work or to take care of myself it's all so empty it sounds whining but i can't control the environment that puts me in this scenario. i have nothing to look forward to every single day. nothing to come home to. im really down tonight.
Anno
I've kind of forgotten to eat all day and now I'm starting to feel pretty hungry. Don't really know what I feel like eating though.
believe me i wish i could id do anything to be a housewife or a butler or a maid or whatever possible just so i could have someone to do nice things for so i can have some purpose and a place i feel welcome nobody wants or needs the only thing im good at doing that makes me feel useful im not gonna pout more here though ive done enough
>>708046 you'd prolly be a good butler those are a real job in some parts of the world still
!C0.PerkELE
But I think you need either connections or credentials to become one
Samu 🏔 !KW2DbpWwls
get you a tech job so you can have more spare time for fulfilling activities
Anno
how much des moon charge to be a dota 2 maid
Kannagi★
There definately butlers, nannies, cooks, gardeners and maids for rich people. I've met a few. Closer you are to London the more likely you are to see someone whose an entire world view is completely skewed
>>708126 yes i know i just told her that and how to spell it
one loonie's not enough to buy anything but a pack of peanuts! it's only like 80 cents usd!
Anno
Probably more like seventy-six cents, hah hah. That's about where it floats these days. To be fair there ain't that much you can get for a loonie here either, unless you're at a dollar store or McDonald's is doing their one dollar any-size soft drink.
I don't wanna get too greedy, but I'd be really excited if Devolver organised to port some of Fromsofts other old games to pc, like Frame Gride, Tenchu, the ps2 ACs, Evergrace, etc
