I think my mom wants to break me and Fish up by causing trouble or something. It's weird that my mother would invite Fish considering a few weeks ago, she called Fish the n word and referred to her as "that".
Well everything goes to shit. I lost all the work i had done.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
but it might just be a driver error and not hardware
Kannagi
I shut it down and left it for a while and started it again and it looks like its working? I have no idea if it is driver or hardware. I've started really relying on this laptop. it would really really suck if it became useless.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
dunno do some googling/ducking about it after checking the model info
doesn't sound like anything how an lcd breaks down, but I am not familiar with modern screen tech that much
i dont have any milk for kratom and i can't buy any because paypal is messing with me on my card i have to leave on a trip in five days and if i dont have my card before i leave i can't go and they'll have really fucked up my life by just not sending out a card when i asked them to last month
Koi
The one shitty thing about doing things with people is finding a spot to eat. My meal plans have been derailed.
Koi
And this chicken sandwich is covered in butter. ふこう
>>605071 also i am very sad that I discovered Nier Automata so late after its release and probably missed out on a lot of bonding and good discussion over it also sad that there is never gonna be anymore nier automata stuff >>605074 i recommend it
I mean if it isn't lewd it should be fine to have on your wall but it's shuten doji she always kind of lewd except for those tasteful takes on her those are nice
>>605094 the artist who did this for years now. Knew them back when they were doing Umineko fanart collabs on FlockMod. This isn't the Umineko stuff but there were a lot of collabs.
This phone stores my face for unlocking purposes interesting
Anno
Apple phone? Samsung?
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
A quite dangerous feature if you ask me as is the fingerprint scanner
Anno
>>605105 Just one of those Oppo phones the uhh A3s >>605106 Yeah I can see why
Anno
Oh I don't think they've made an entry into the North American market. Never heard of them before. My phone's got a fingerprint scanner, but it only works if it's after the first time unlocking the phone after booting up, and stops if I haven't unlocked my phone in a while. So I guess if I feel I'm entering a situation where I might be forced to unlock my phone I can just power it off.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
I always use a long pincode
Anno
I go for a pattern code most of the time
Anno
>>605104 i don't get that stuff can't someone just use a picture of your face to unlock your phone?
Anno
i use a fingerprint thing since it's right where i'd be putting my index finger when reaching for my phone it makes you register a password for unlocking after reboot anyway though
>>605112 Yeah, pretty much. I've got a PIN because of the aforementioned limitations to the fingerprint unlock. But I like the print unlock because of the ease of access and reasonable placement of the sensor.
Anno
>>605111 I would think it would be a bit more intuitive than that but I'm getting someone's face isn't all that hard
psychopass kind of depiction is quite likely though it keeps illusion of self-governing, well they do actually self-govern, just that the system CHOOSES the rulers not people and the system dominates the lives of everyone rather than people or the government
no one just really questions it, as it is "convenient" and "it works"
I wonder how many things like that exist in any current existing society, that we are just blind to
man i'm feeling introspective but i gotta go to sleep in an hour or so maybe i'll remember what i'm thinking about tomorrow >>605134 i thought that macross show that aired few seasons back was pretty great but i don't have a ton of experience beyond sitting through love live which i thought was alright and aikatsu which i didn't like much and eventually dropped 10 eps in
Anno
Maybe give yourself some short notes on your computer or paper to remind you.
Anno
i'm not really good at noting down stuff that isn't academic or other research unfortunately if i try to remind myself of normal shit i end up forgetting about it or being confused about what the note means later haha i usually just repeat stuff under my breath a few times if it's not that important and that works fine if i'm gonna do it later
Anno
i normally have a lot of trouble figuring out how to start writing in general actually without some kind of prompt it takes me forever to decide the first sentence or even couple words it's a lot easier once i've got my mind working and trying to crank out words but i basically only write gonzo style i tried to write some fiction a few times but it didn't work so well if i was writing from a third party or first party that wasn't myself with my own thought patterns >>605141 i'm honestly kind of worried that i've done some permanent damage to my memory by way of reckless behavior maybe i'm just naturally bad at it though
>>605142 well usually i start by putting on some relaxing tunes and staring at the ceiling wishing for the sweet release of death then if i'm not almost asleep by then i take diphenhydramine 50mg and it knocks me out in 20 to 30 mins
>>605144 maybe hmm i think my typical level of observation is pretty bad unless i'm looking out for particular things maybe that's why i have trouble passively remembering stuff or maybe i've just done too much shit and my brain is even more fucked up than originally
Anno
>>605134 wouldn't say big but am not averse to idolshit although I do enjoy the cg mobile rhythm game I been meaning to watch macrosds though
>>605146 I myself am kind of alert at all times except when I am focusing on one singular thing and during those times I have harder time recalling details like say I am reading or playing vidya, I might forget everything else I did on that day except the vidya ie. what I ate or did I even eat
to hear one must be silent kinda mentality but yeah I have been doing this since I was a kid so maybe it is just a feat of my brain and not a learnt skill but I do know that I always didn't have such a good memory or attention to details or my surroundings
and rarely can you rewatch a show, reread a book etc with any surprises, as you fully remember the plot from the previous consuming. >>605152 I spent my life thinking without doing dunno if it is much better
man i've spent so much of my life just staying alive and not trying jack shit I don't even really want to go anywhere with this life or do jack shit anyways I hate that part of myself often >>605150 That's a good point I don't remember the majority of my failures I guess I have a ton of them though and the most regretful will probably stay with me forever I still feel a few things and think about them when events happened over 10 or 15 years ago But I can't really remember most of what I did in the last 3 months Maybe I need to get out there and go live somewhere that's all new to me There's really nothing here for me except my family and they don't really need my help for anything now that my dad's got a good wage and works a lot
Then again I didn't really ever help them a lot other than those 4 or 5 months my dad had a back injury and i was working 60 or more hrs to cover the bills and food and in that kind of case my sister has a much better job than me now so she handles a lot of extra expenses I used to now
Maybe I'm feeling lost since I haven't been able to make myself really useful in a long time
Also human mind has a REALLY bad search tool for info atleast I do weirdest part is say thinking of somehting and not remembering and then days later it pops up and you go AAAthat is what it was and then you go "hmm but why did I need to remember this again... searching..."
>>605154 i think in this case society has nothing to do with it i've always felt attracted to roles that support the backbone of the group i was the fucker who jumped up to be the goalie during recess and shit
my gut tells me that i should be able to handle a lot more than i put myself up to and i really should be taking more responsibility and be diligent but at the end of the day i always say fuck it and sit down to waste my time until i have to sleep
True goal of a philosopher is to realise that meaning itself is meaningless and then be fine with that and go do whateve they want after that edgy as hell aye >>605155 is a corny way to say it and I definitely don't practice it myself at all but change comes one step at a time and a journey of thousand miles starts wit hthe first foot
as in the big mistake people do whe nthey try to "motivate" themselves is that htey shoot for the stars or something instead of just starting small for example tring to live healthier, instead going "Beach body 2019", just say start by always taking the stairs instead of elevator at their work place
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
and once that becomes norm, add another step and then another and so on ofc it is kinda taxing as the change isn't instant or visible at all and it isn't gratifying to the INSTANT GRATIFICATION seeking asshole human, especially modern, brain is
>>605156 the only fuckin thing i've changed about myself though my own willpower in 6 years was getting a job after being a total shut in who didn't leave the house but 2-3 times a month to go on a walk i didn't even have a reason to i just wanted to prove that i could handle some kind of actual burden
everything else that has made me grow as a person was because of interacting with all kinds of people
but at its core i'm still more inclined to waste my time by myself doing leisure bullshit than actually try to move forward with my life
i still walk to work every day since i was 18 because i'm just too fucking apathetic to bother going to class for 40 hours and taking a test i've already enacted a few times
i literally know how to drive i just haven't gotten to asking for a few saturdays off so i can get my license and drive the honda that is already waiting for me in the driveway haha
i guess it probably needs some work by now since it hasn't moved in years since i bought it though. i dunno, i'm not really a car person.
>>605159 it was already a junky piece of future scrap when i got it but it worked at the time and the guy was willing to sell it off with title for like $800 if we came to tow it
I like driving myself, but I don't think a car a necessity in the capital region though I do live in the area where it ALMOST is forexample, would have saved a lot of money when I was running 39 fever and couldn't get to the stores to buy food, instead of ordering food 2x with a car I could have just driven to the store
a car isn't really a necessity for me since i don't do shit and can walk to work in 20 minutes it'd let me avoid the dangerous parts of the area a bit easier and save like 40 minutes i could be playing games and getting high i guess but it's not something i need
most people around here or in the metro need a car because my state's 15 years behind first world countries in terms of public transit but most populated areas in the country have at least some kind of system
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
is kinda amusing going like "oh so long distance to the store" but I LIVE IN A FUCKING CITY IN THE CAPITAL REGION not some fucking middle of boonies >oh it is just 7-10km there and back to store well that really does stack up when you have to walk/cycle it each time
i live in the third largest metropolitan area in the country and the first in terms of growth over 10 years work is a couple miles away on foot walking without much urgency still though used to be right down the street but i quit after i got robbed fuck that place
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
but "city" it has 48k people livng in it with something like maybe 1000 in a square km I live in the border of where the "same population density as siperia" starts
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
I like it there anyhow, and wouldn't mind living in a bit better appartment there permanently, though my heart does long for Tapiola but if I were to stay there, I'd buy a car just to commute to places on my OWN schedule and not public transit schedule
Still fun to think that finland is larger than say United Kingdom and at about same size as germany and japan all with population above 80 million, with japan having 140m
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
and we 5,5
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
as some chinese official once said "your entire population is a clerical error in my country"
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
and that isn't even a joke, every census has a margin of error in promilles, well larger less developed you are, so even by top standards of cencusing and statistics, with the population of china, a few million people miscalculation just happens.
sometimes i wonder if i really did kms and this is some kind of purgatory where every day is the same then i snap out of it and realize that's fucking dumb and crazy it does give me that feeling sometimes anyway
it's gonna sound edgy but i wonder what it's like to have dreams and pursue your interests i just feel so detached from society's john doe and his dream job or degree and many loved ones
it's like that fucker from Aoi Bungaku's ningen shikkaku adaptation when he paints himself I'll turn inward and see this strange creature that doesn't fit in with humans
>>605172 dunno I have never had any goals, dreams and such in my life just fancies like "hmm that would be fun to do, but it isn't for me"
I personally think I ruined my life when I reached >True goal of a philosopher is to realise that meaning itself is meaningless and then be fine with that and go do whateve they want after that edgy as hell aye
temporarily having religion conversion fueled drive for a year or two, but once that faded I was back to "hmm is there any point in doing anything"
i took it that there was no real meaning or that the meaning of life was not really important in the end a long time ago it's not really that i want there to be a meaning or i think i'm missing the point it just makes me feel kind of wistful when I see other people following their path
maybe this life of mundane bullshit and mediocrity is my path
i wish i had a more interesting path >>605174 Do you ever feel like you're not quite human?
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
ie. say you get your shit together, start keeping your house in good condition, eat healthy, get a job and so on and now are rid off all yout past troubles
but what comes with that future? new troubles worries that you no longer have time for the hobbies and interests you occupied yourself in the past, when you had more time and less responsibilities worries that you are dedicatingtoo much of your time to work and all that and so on worrying that when you have free time, you won't be able to spend it satisfyingly
life in all forms of "quality" is just constant tackle of problems and worries and all you ever do is switch the old kinds to new kinds of they may not be like "okay I am going to starve soon since no money for food" but they will still be as REAL as that problem quantifying and rating problems by the severity of them, say on their existential level and saying "those aren't real issues" is a bad mentality
First world problems are first world problems, but htey are still real problesm to the person facing them >>605175 I think at times in terms of thought process I left my humanity behind
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
or in a weird way kind of dual exist as me the human and as me the observer of me the human
>>605175 I think funniest way to look at the world is to realise its insanity and how it all makes sense
meaning has no meaning, worth has no value but the exact opposite is true having no meaning has a meaning and no value has a worth
kind of like a philosophical doublethink lense to the world
another way of thinking in a similiar fashion is, when someone say asks why are you doing something, ask them back "why wouldn't I be doing this" a cheeky thing to say, but it does illustrate a point
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
I really should move to usa or somewhere and become a self help guru just sprout shit like this to people with no time to think and get rich on it
Anno
>>605179 a different perspective is invaluable for this kind of thing really
I have no idea if I want to be productive today or just do nothing. I woke up feeling pretty stimulated for whatever reason but no motivation which feels like a shitty combo
It was nicer when I was working, I knew I had money coming in. Having this tiny budget to live off til my next student loans comes in sucks, I should learn to budget better.
Yeah, don't ask me about budgeting. My life is on the edge and off the cusp since my expenses are super low. I can buy whatever I want and still expect my money to go up.
Kirara, the Cat
she-ra is so gay
💀
>>605217 comedic thing about why japs are obsessed with finns and how it is an evil conspiracy
I'm gonna shower I think, get dressed. get something tasty from lidls and maybe go for a walk? I could take my camera out, I haven't used it in a while.
I don't actually know a lot about my area, so maybe I can go on a adventure. It does kind of feel lonely going on adventure here. such // I don't // eh
SHOWER
💀
>>605223 do yor lidls have choco+nougat croissants get thosr best thing lidl sells
Kannagi
>>605224 Not that I've ever seen? That does sound nice though! I get the chocolat croissants a lot though, I love them. >>605226 There really isn't anything too adventurous in that section. they sometimes do kooky dounuts
💀
should be near the entrance where other bread and pastry are
💀
ours has like 10 different breads and atleast 8 kinds of pastry muffins, drycakes aforementioned croiss
>>605240 I got it a while ago as freebie when I got my weed. most of what I have is from a while ago now. >>605243 I don't think weed is too bad, I just shouldn't make it a habit.
💀
get rid of it?
💀
>>605242 i don't think anything gotten as a freebie from a dealer is something to consume
>>605244 Its not like an offhand thing, they sell it always with little shatter as their thing or whatever. There a weird legal/illegal cannabis cafe here that police tolerate.
I took 6g of kratom earlier so maybe I'm not the best person to say that, though. Although I'm also a substance abuse professional.
Kannagi
I'm not doing any shatter today, don't worry. I'm steering clear of hard drugs. I just feel like a little weed might brighten me up a little. I want to go out and play with my camera and given how neato colours are when I'm high, I am little curious.
>>605248 I hope you are alright, I know you said a lot of kratom can make people nauseous - I guess it could be different with tolerance. When I took a bunch throught out the day at uni - I felt super jittery which wasn't too good.
>>605267 Yep, the stores close at 4pm. I was lucky in my last place becomes small stores are exempt from sunday closing time laws so corner shops are great for getting food and drink. and I found a small cornershop today! now I can be lazier on a sunday instead of rushing to beat the 4pm deadline. >>605269 Oh no. have fun
Samu !KW2DbpWwls
today’s another movin day gotta drag all my shit across two rivers
oh yeah, since you're basically just a train ride from philly now do you want to come visit Saku's grave this year with us? we're going the first week of january like 2-6 or 3-6 still working on the details
>>605274 will do! the cemetery he's at is the King David Jewish cemetery in Bensalem, which is like 30 minutes from philly
if you come we can all go get gourmet rolled ice cream in chinatown!
>>605276 Haha, why? Isn't UK kind of secular these days?
Kannagi
>>605273 It is pretty weird! Apparently the house of commons keep denying repealing the law. Kinda weird thinking about. Other countries shop how they like on a sunday.
Kannagi
>>605275 I have no idea. I think they think it preserves the UK being special or something. I have no idea how MPs think. Yeah we are super secular.
The Trigger panel is getting seated. The line goes into one room and back out. With another five layer zigzagging line outside of it and then another line beyond that.
Kannagi
>>605283 Did you manage to get in or are you stuck at the end of a hellish long line?
>>605328 that sounds like a lot of effort hownmuch effort is that
Kirara, the Cat
love is a lot of effort
ToN
but like do those sorts of things is it like a hunk orf pllastic or how does that work
Kannagi
meow meow meow meow meow
Kirara, the Cat
>>605331 Oh, typically you sculpt it out if modeling clay. The grey, unpainted figures you see sometimes as prototypes are usually /// often modeling clay. Then later, they make a plastic mold of it for mass production.
it’s // it would probably be tough for me to kake a fogure id be satisified with though. im not the best artist nor are my hands the steadiest in that sort of scenario
>>605405 maria and i play sometimes would you like to join us sometime
Koi
>>605413 I. WISH. THERE IS NO KOISHI MERCH. Only character I saw that I care about was patchouli but I wasnt a big fan of the one they had. It wasn't bad. Just not interesting. >>605416 This is my first year in 5 years with a job and I was intent on saving 10k before doing anything personal.
FormerRei@mobile
>>605415 You don't buy the games or figures? Or plush? Or doujin? Or soundtracks?
>>605428 Not really, just some stuff. Touhou stuff in particular.
ToN
Hmm Why is touhou by itswlf particularly degenrate
FormerRei@mobile
>>605430 Touhous are pure and not for sexualizing.
FormerRei@mobile
Also in general I find porn of characters from series I like to be disgusting.
ToN
Interesting
FormerRei@mobile
Even porn of characters from series I liked that I no longer like.
Koi
Rude. Every character deserves to enjoy sex.
Koi
(Of legal age)
FormerRei@mobile
Blue, do you like games like Nethack? Or Rogue? Stuff with colored text instead of real graphics.
Koi
I used to play a game like that but haven't for decades
FormerRei@mobile
>>605438 You should ty Nethack, its really fun. *try
Koi
Thank you nethack
FormerRei@mobile
So I have a gaming keyboard with a bunxh of extra keys but it seems impossible to map stuff to them on GNU/Linux. I finally found a program that claimed to do that and it didn't work for the type of macros I wanted because of an error. I even tried changing the source code and I couldn't get it to work.
>>605450 really good. subverts a lot of dumb harem tropes and the MC has balls of steel
Koi
I'm upset that I dont know the words to shiny days. This would have been the best time as the guy in Penn station plays I want you back on the waiting area
>>605455 Yeah. I love the Japanese comments like. >"Oh I'm jealous. It would have // it looks like a lot of fun to have watched that!" He is super aggressive though, he goes way off as if it'd help him. lol
Kirara, the Cat
>Maybe she'll say yes if I grab her and refuse to let her leave!
>>605454 this kind of shit is so unfair catch someone out unexpected and completely overwhelm them put them on the spot they might say yeah sure if it wasn't so uncomfortable ive seen that happen at like sports events where someone proposes on the court during halftime in front of thousands of people i'd be like wtf are you doing i dont like this
>>605461 all I am asking is, ow the fuck did any of those three get into that situation
Kannagi !NEATO1nxtM
>>605462 Thats a normal relationship. They have the snake for fetish. >>605464 ...why? its a fucking imaginative situation which was hilarious. someone clearly sat and tried to think of what best represents relationships BLOOD, PAIN, SNAKE, WOMEN HANGING FOR DEAR LIFE, BIG ROCK
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
no I don't mean the metamphore I mean the literal situation
FormerRei@mobile
>>605461 From that angle he woukd be able to see the head of the snake when it bites her.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
the woman somehow manages to fall of a cliff the man catches her, but has a ROUND boulder land on his back and somehow there is a snake in a cave, that CLEARLY isn't snake accessible
Samu !KW2DbpWwls
really makes u think!!!!!
Anno
Nope.
Kirara, the Cat
I'm surprised that dude even has the strength to hold her up considering his spine is seemingly crushed.
Kannagi !NEATO1nxtM
The snake has little +3 above it's body so its probably pretty strong
They had like a glass statuette on the table And there were people whose sole job was to replace people's water Like they just snuck in and refilled my water like every ten minutes And someone said to me "can I take your hat?"
I said "huh? uhh no im good" and fish elbowed me and told me to give them my hat and coat i was worried they'd lose them but they didn't?? when we were walking out i said to fish how do we get our stuff back? and she was like, that guy is walking back over with it right now
It was wild.
Anno
There's probably a coat room style tagging system they've got going on. Guess that's sort of a pointless neat logistics system.
i got a steak it was cooked to perfection exactly like i ordered the chef actually came out and was like, how is your meal and i was like, oh, it's great, thank you and i thought it was a manager or something but fish said it was the chef it's so weird rich people restaurants are weird
>>605488 yeah that is how it is in fancy places instead of having a "pay to use cloth area" they just take your stuff automatically free of charge(may include tipping)
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
cloackroom that is the word
Anno
Coat room this side of the pond.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
most of time it isn't even a room, but more of an alcove
Kannagi !NEATO1nxtM
I don't let anyone take my coat. I have so many things in my pockets.
Wow a positive to being poor and lower class! I have never been refused in for wearing a coat
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
I find these places MOST amusing >pay 10€ to get in >need to pay 2-5€ to hang your coat and bags >then get to enter and people LINE UP FOR HOURS to get in fucking scrubs
There are super rich people at my uni. It is insane. They talk really weirdly. They have weird greeting rituals of what schools they went to, whats their father do. They love talking about their dads and apparently all their mothers do jack all and "manage the estate"
>>605504 I wouldn't have thought there many rich here. going to uni as really exposed me to weird people. >>605505 Apparently women aren't "allowed" to inherit the family company/ies so they have to do estate management >>605506 The uni has reputation which why they come here plus if you are rich you get to live in the castle.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
best thing about finland is how there aren't that many rich and they keep to their own circles
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
>>605503 >don't have a butler/etc who manages the estate what peons
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
>>605503 Dnno, maybe those are the "rich, but not rich enough to buy their way to Cambridge/oxford"?
I feel like my values would be out of whack if I ate high class dining regularly. but does sound nice too! I'd love to eat a really nicely cooked steak.
When I stayed over in the US with my mom's partner who is rich, I had steaks nearly everyday. I don't know if that because he can afford or just american prices/ regular meat eating. It was a bit surreal to have meal that was a present usually to me.
He also cooked a lot of fish on his fancy BBQ, I'm not too fond of undercooked fish. he hated that liked my steaks medium *I
Kirara, the Cat
Medium rare is the best. Steak everyday is some rich shit.
Anno
I like mine cooked medium when it's being cooked by someone who cares. Careless people seem to dry out the steak by cooking it medium, when it's cooked here at home I find we can get it still kind of juicy.
>>605519 is it, though, when you're rich as hell? what happens when your money is infinite can you still waste it
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
it is
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
>>605520 it is like asking "is it waste to fill a bottle of water and then just go outside and pour i on hot asphalt" yes yes it was even if it cost you and the society you live around nothing as you have plenty of water but it ws a waste of water
I clearly know what is good for me and the benefits of doing things to stop me doing stupid shit but I still regret doing those things. well fuck that convoluted. I threw out my coke earlier because I wanted to clean out everything, I was pretty high and felt like it. now I regret it but atleast I won't be able to use it. My brain is dumb.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
man I have gotten hooked on the eila latte drink
Anno
>>605525 The brain's good at being both smart and stupid about the same thing. Ambiguousness is a bitch. It's good you got rid of it, try and keep that up.
>>605527 I find it weird how you feel things like regret despite knowing you shouldn't feel it. I know I like the feeling of coke way too much. Its way beyond my expectation to feel like this. you don't expect conflicts like that internally because normally you go "this is bad, thats a fair judgment call to stop it," the end.
>>605529 What is bad though, when it makes you feel extremely good and leaves an imprint of that feeling on you? Your brain doesn't really apply rationality to its feelings. The part of you that can make fair judgement calls is saying it's bad but your brain frankly disagrees and bam, conflict.
>>605532 Yes. It's like my brain is screaming "the fuck did you do, you'll never feel that good and whole again!". I don't even know if that is a good way to explain it. >>605530 If I do I'll be fucked. I can't afford it.
>>605540 I think they have some way of spotting vunerable people or something. I've had bunch of people come up to me. selling ketamine, cocaine and other shit. >>605541 They clearly know how to pick their targets.
FormerRei@mobile
I get offered drugs at music festivals a lot. Also people ask me for cigarettes or a light a lot too. But that never happened when I carried a lighter with me.
I've never sold any, though. I've given amphetamines out for free, though.
Anno
amphetamines aren't very fun to use recreationally I'm not sure why people are so crazy about it >>605543 also you should know that feeling of emptiness starts to fade if you don't do coke for a few weeks overloading on dopamine fucks your natural chemical balance up for a while
Considering my consistant inability to be productive, I can kind of sympathize.
Kannagi !NEATO1nxtM
I really sympathize as well. weed makes me feel great but it doesn't help me be productive. caffeine doesn't really help much either. but coke I'm super focused.
Kirara, the Cat
amphetamines would be better for you than cocaine but you're probably going to abuse them if you get them so you should probably not try until you can moderate yourself
I'm self destructive with a lot of things. Not just drugs.
I've got to get back to normal - I keep taking coke to feel normal but thats kinda fucking warped because it is a temporary and deadly normal. Anyway. I'm adapting. I've got my counselling meeting thursday not sure how that will go. it does give me anxiety thinking about it. I won't mention drug abuse to them since uni has annoying zero tolerance rules in place.
>>605555 They belong to the Uni and they make it super clear drug abuse has no warning, you just get kicked out. I don't want to risk that. If I could get an appointment with my GP's service I would but they are slow, they still haven't got back to me even after I had an ambulance over because I thought I Od'd.
Also I found a money clip in my jacket like 10 minutes ago. Someone must have put it in there at the restaurant by mistake or something. I was going to contact the restaurant about it, but Fish says I should keep it. I feel a little guilty about that, though.
The rich world is crazy. If i found a lot of money on me, I'd give it back in. even if I need money.
Kannagi !NEATO1nxtM
>>605570 holy fuck. I feel like on one hand rich people there might not even miss that money but people like you were there who aren't rich and lost their 500. well losing 500 feels crazy though. losing 500 sounds rich as fuck. damn
>>605576 You saying that is making me even more uncomfortable about this. Are you scheming something? Did you have someone put money in my coat? This is making me paranoid.
500 is not a lot when I was working. but I value money quite a lot. I was spending 300 a month on just travel to work.
With just student loans to rely on 500 is a lot to me. and know how easy it is to spend is scary to me. It is odd to be carrying that much cash though.
>>605602 Why would she do that? I have a bad feeling about this.
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>>605603 never actually lost money I'm very keen when it comes to where my money goes
Kannagi !NEATO1nxtM
I don't think it is healthy speculation to say Fish gave it on purpose to get a better ring. >>605606 I lost a tenner when I was young, I saw the person who found it. I was like 7 years old and really sad and this adult just grinned at me mockily and I was fairly sure they took my money. I can really remember the events in my life that I lost a lot of faith in people.
>>605613 I'm not lying about anything because I haven't told you anything, and I said don't ask. I'm just saying to trust me that no injustice will occur if you hold on to it. The only reason I even stepped in is because I saw it heading toward a result where injustice would occur and someone would be unjustly enriched.
>>605617 So, what? Fish planted money in my pocket and asked you to encourage me to buy an engagement ring with it? Because I can't see you giving me $500.
i did a google search for female professional gamers because i am kind of into esports and all and was curious how its development waas was* and google just, does this it's a little unnerving
>>605620 ikr i guess it actually answers a lot of my curiosity about how it has developed none, still like a novelty why does the top info source have to say hottest what does that have to do with anything?? fuck
oh god critikal keeps killing connor every chance he gets in detroit human moistness
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
and for somereason they just keep REMAKING more connors you'd think the company would look at the model and think "hmm this might be fucking retarded suicidal android"
FormerRei@mobile
I prefer Detroit: Become Moomin
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>>605625 then give it back to fish lol this is all super obvious
Kirara, the Cat
im aware
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I'm a ware
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seriously though give it to me so i can buy a shitload of ball pit balls and dump them in the 7-11
Kirara, the Cat
how many can you get for $500
FormerRei@mobile
Probably over a thousand
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>>605633 around five or six thousand depends on where you buy them
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>>605632 Then when the first customers start coming in and seeing them and asking about them you can say "I don't know what you're talking about, sure you're not tripping balls?
>>605618 I don't want to reveal or answer anything but it's a pretty crazy theory that I would know who you were and where you were going to be to be able to have money planted on you.
>>605642 You knowing that is more believable than you randomly giving me money. why are you skirting this why can't you just tell the truth Why are you just being weird about this
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
>mats complains about engagement rings being expensive >and then stumbles on 500 dollars from nowhere yeah Don't even need a tinfoil hat for that one
>>605643 I think Fish coming up with a weird plan to get you to accept money is a lot more plausible than me doing anything crazy like that. And me not trying to spill the beans about all that is a pretty plausible explanation as to why I'm being weird about it.
So just relax! You both benefit. Just don't give the money to anyone that it doesn't belong to. I agree that it is a hairbrained plan but women are stupid and you are hard wired to seek them out so just deal with it.
>>605648 How do I benefit from being manipulated? Plus, you were like, "oh, she'll be happy with any ring from you!" and that's clearly not the case if /// Actually nevermind i don't want to do this on /moe/
I hope you are alright. I don't want to wade in on personal matters when I'm not a good person right now. Getting given money in a round about way isn't pleasant in relationships and even family. I feel a lot of shame from it so this kind of resonants with me but i can understand being anxious and doing things in a roundabout ways to avoid being present. it doesn't have to be anything to do with the ring or how expensive the ring is, you can be anxious that you making someonepay for a ring and want to lighten their load. anxiety can make you think that its a good idea to do things like that.
>>605638 sometimes i want to know how much ball pit balls i could buy what's with all the questioning am i being interrogated
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>>605653 Ball pit ball trafficking is a severe crime plaguing your great nation. With your cooperation perhaps the tragic damage of such acts can be nipped in the bud.
No, I am mad. I don't like being lied to. And I'm mad at you, too.
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>The Doctor gets a package >"I must have ordered this ages ago, I don't remember what it was >It's a fez Must have ordered it like five or six years ago then.
maybe I will I've never known a creative bone in my body though
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Creativity comes with experience really. Once you know how to do a thing being creative with it is a natural step. Alternatively immerse yourself in the media and you'll probably get a knack for creativity with it too. I've known plenty of creative people that claim to be utterly uncreative to boot too.
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just don't pick green
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Fuck that green is one of the best colours. That sketchpad doesn't know what's good for him.
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GREEN IS NOT A CREATIVE COLOR GOD DAMMIT
FormerRei@mobile
4U
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YOU DON'T GET TO BRING GREEN
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
I have a green hat
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i have a good amount of green clothes but most of my wardrobe is black
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I have a few green shirts and a pair of green-ish pants. I like the colour green a lot. I'd never wear that together unless I was totally out of other combinations though, hah hah.
TN !PcAPtAiNJo
i have black, blue, beige, and brown and white and gray clothing in terms of outer layer and pants my shirts are quite rainbow colour though I don't have anything pink
