Thread #658968

I got on the pills and wine an' stuff again
but i made my own thread
just to kind of REALESE
it all

Samurai can delete it in a few hours

or now

I just need something to do

so wine is either 11% or 13% ethanol
and you can get pretty fucked off that

but here's another thing that you need to take into account: Physical Space in your stomach.

So that's why 1.5 at 18% for $13 works out better than 4L at $9 from Ald.

So I climbed one of the tallest mountains in the world
cost me THOUSANDS of dollars
and then you get back
and it's just like................. Now what?

if i wasn't such a pussy i'd just kill myself.

but my mum would be pretty cut up so that's not really an option

But then
if I really cared about what Mum wanted

why don't I just try Super Hard all the time and come first in Law Schoosl
*school
but I don't do that

subsidized laziness

that's why i hate myself

But maybe i don't hate myself enough to change.

the thing is--

AND maybe that keeps me delusional

is that I still plan on SNAPPING OUT OF THIS DEGENERACY

one day I'll do well

maybe you should speak to a counselor
and cut back on the drinking? you're getting drunk like every other day at least now

>>658984
but if I wasn't Off my tits there wouldn't be a good way to hate Myself

checkmate atheists.

how is it a good way? why do you want to hate yourself?
why not do what you have to to pursue happiness
like >>658975
do what you want next
it's your life
you don't have to live it for anyone but you

No.
Never.

why not

imats this was just a thread to talk to myself without being embarrassed about the consequences later to pls leave.

alright fine but im worried about you

well don't be
I barely know you.

and for the record
I don't Dislike Kirara in any way shape or form
I think he's a really smart guy


Just trying to bring Real World while I'm drinking wine and anti-depressants

let's get fucked cunt

I'll probably never kill myself but that's more out of a fear of death than a love of life.

when I was in Thailand I had this total crush on this one person
So I was like.. "I really like this girl, and if there's any chance of making it work I wouldn't fuck a bunch of random Strange"
but she didn't have much interest in me. so maybe I should have gone hard in Thailand.

but that's neither here nor there two year later.

just a story.

>>658984
wink

well it's done
pride is sold
I applied for general benefits
time to make use of socialist policies

gah how useless such pride is, when you thinka bout it

>>659001
you live in Finland
you lost that battle long ago

i hate myself so god damn much

it's always one last time or one more bottle

my dad knows I
've been breaking into his wine cellar

I know that because all the wine is gone

I guess he gave it away to his friends or something

>here, take this. or my fuckup of a son is going to steal the keys and drink the bottle again

>>659001
i might have to apply for disability soon
it's not an easy thing to do over here though
ive made a genuine effort
while i can afford to survive, im not solvent and i can't pay taxes and my health is declining so
it's the only responsible thing to do at this point

i hope you get it

idk how to even get started
prolly wont be for years if i do

this beer is a quarter of the strength of fortified wine and I CAN'T DEAL
>>659066
be my lover honey boy
you could get it in a few weeks here

aren't you like way over the threshold of need

well personally
I've got like $80 in savings

but my family does pretty ok

Even so. If you've got DIAGNOSED HEALTH ISSUES it's pretty easy to get on that welfare hype

the difficult part is getting diagnosed
there are explicit and implicit costs to healthcare that make it difficult and lengthy
you gotta see a doctor, travel, pay copay for a 15-minute consultation really after they review your information and medical background personally
"doc im havin bone problems"
ok i'll put in a request for some xrays and blood tests, go to this lab and this lab and get those done and come back in three weeks
schedule those blood tests and xrays, go back to the doc in three weeks, that's four appointments now
"uh xrays aren't showing very much because xrays are shit, let's get a ct scan"
another schedule, another appointment
like six months // six weeks have passed and you've missed six days of work because of this and put your body through the stress of travel and your wallet too

that's p bad by itself but add onto it that we have copays for basically every one of those things and i'll have had to pay like several hundred dollars in raw cash and like the same in missed work and i am already pressed for cash to pay my bills
what do you do, you know

moon i love you but if you keep talking like this I'll have to start shitting on America

STOP LIVING IN THE 3RD WORLD

those implicit parts would be the same anywhere
you gotta take a day to do that shit

But it's simple
go get a free doctors appointment from your government-subsidized university

Anyway
this thread isn't about the broken Michigan (you still live in Michigan, right?) health care system
it's about self pity and degeneracy
and the more you imply how good I have it the worse it makes it

michigan is actually helpin me out more than im used to
they set me up with a health plan just by default i didnt have to do anything
so i know i can go see a doctor now and stuff i just gotta set it up

well HERE we've got real problems
like it being 3am and the liquor store doesn't open until 9.

just chill out on the shit
take some valerian root if you're having cravings or withdrawal
i dont find the withdrawal very unpleasant really unless im in a really emotionally unsafe surrounding

moon-kun
sponsored by Valerian root

kratom is pretty good too but valerian root is usually accessible locally at the pharmacy
seriously like alcohol doesnt do anything but make you irritable
take something that at least lets you enjoy the setting and experience and quietly reflect on things without the anxiety
you really have no excuse to be back to drinking
it's your choice i guess but i dont see why

I'd rather just shiver and steal and hate myself and post about it on anime message boards.

>no excuse
WELL FUCK YOU TOO

well what do you want me to do
encourage you, an alcoholic, as an alcoholic myself on a board among at least two other alcoholics
that this self-destructive behavior that youve shown yourself capable of overcoming and encouraged others to overcome
is probably fine and nothing to worry about and you should keep going?
no
i mean if you want to, nobody here can stop you so go ahead, but you should understand that posting about it here is going to elicit this sort of response
im clean like six-ish months now, kirara a couple years
hearing that the liquor store is closed but you havent had your fill, yeah i def remember that sensation but it's kind of a petty one when i think back on it
i can empathize because ive felt it, but i can't sympathize for precisely the same reason, because ive felt it

then just fuck off and let me kill myself in peace

no

well if you're gonna kill yourself let's climb a mountain and then let me snort coke off your dick
you're gonna die anyway so might as well help me out always wanted to do that

waking up
feel disgusting
regret posting everything

can you think of anything you could have done that would have resulted in you not doing things you'd regret

>>659398
not mixing Monster and fortified wine would probably be a good start

gross